Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Aleatz Hates Chick Flicks

So, yesterday I saw two movies. The first was 'John Tucker Must Die', which apparently is a great movie or something. The other (kinda by accident) was 'Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb'. For all of those who've never heard of that one, here's a small Simpsons parody that might jog your memory:



'Dr Strangelove' made me realise what a good movie was supposed to be. The fact that the movie was 40 years old didn't even seem to matter, because it was still exceptionally hilarious. Such an awesome satire. After watching it I thought 'Wow, how could something like this be produced in the 60s in the US?!' Then I saw the credits and noticed it was all filmed in England. Highly surprising... but not really. If the British are good at anything, it's comedy.

Now, 'John Tucker Must Die'... It was meh. This seemed to remind me of previous chick flicks and how they have a general trend of being terrible. Sometimes you can be in the mood for a good chick flick, but when there are only so many hours in a day I can't understand why a person would go to the cinema twice in order to see something like John Tucker.



'This story is about John Tucker.'

Who cares?

Seriously. This movie uses every high school stereotype it can in order to not develop interesting characters. None of it is particularly funny... How does this qualify as a good movie?

Everyone, go and watch 'Dr Strangelove' before your life is over from watching too many shit movies.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Aleatz Hates Sasuke (Revisited)

Holy crap. I almost feel like taking back every good thing I've said about the Naruto series. Not because of the series itself, or even (to a certain extent) the characters in the series, but the large amount of fans who post indecipherable comments in relation to a rather short, crappy article I wrote about a fictional character.

Half the reason Sasuke sucks so bad is because of you.

If he didn't have a hoard of whiny fangirls defending him with their shitty comments he wouldn't suck more than a straw in melted ice cream. Do you think the people who have written proper comments in relation to that article didn't realise that Sasuke is a fictional character? Then why must you repetitively point it out to them?! Hell, why must you even need to defend him if he is fictional?!

One of the most common comments in defence of Sasuke's shitty personality is 'Sasuke's entire clan was killed by his brother and he saw it and that's why he's the way he is'. (Just imagine that with less grammar and incorrect spelling.)

Anime is filled with characters with traumatic pasts. Orphans, survivors of genocide/wars, etc. etc. barf. It is one of the major clichés of anime. Doesn't mean I can't point and laugh at a character now, does it? Doesn't mean the character has to be a complete douche. And an uninteresting douche at that.

But yeah, I don't understand why the majority of the hits/comments for this blog are based on the Sasuke page. Naruto isn't even a series worth fanboying. So, here's my final point in summary. I've even included pretty images for the people who still don't get it:

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If you feel the urge to comment, go ahead. But be warned that I'm going to read comments as they are written. So if you can't spell 'you' with the two first letters then I'm sure we won't be getting far.

Now get off my lawn!

Monday, December 22, 2008

Aleatz Hates Christmas

Bah humbug.

I would like Christmas a bit more if it was a bit like the 'traditional' Christmas for me. Haven't had a Christmas tree in the house for almost a decade. Here in Oz we also have the luxury of a nice, warm summer. Doesn't even snow here in winter though, so I don't even know what I'm after. Also, my mum wanted me to go out and buy the Christmas present she was giving me... Kinda ruins the idea.

I'd love to say that none of that matters, and all that matters is the concept, but it's completely lost on my family. Over-glorified presents to the family members every year... Even when my mum's side of the family agreed to do a Secret Santa style present giving scenario one year (because otherwise it gets pretty expensive for those on a pension) my mum butchered it by getting every family member 'a little something' that they probably felt guilty in receiving because they had nothing planned for her because they thought they weren't supposed to.

Well, enough about that. Although polishing silver and working it my parent's shop for the last few days has dampened my holiday cheer, I can safely say I have it good. The fact that I'm type this now is proof enough of that. Even when I feel like taking a leaf from Mr Garrison's book and singing a not-too-pleasant Christmas song sometimes, I bounce back a few seconds later. So from me:

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Now go and eat some puddin'. Make sure to drown it in brandy custard. And if I don't update before New Year's, I hope you have a good one. I, however, am working!

Grin through the pain...

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Aleatz Hates Censorship

I don't usually do this (and I doubt doing this will have much of an impact) but I felt inclined to post this:



What internet censorship will mean for Australians:
  • Slower internet speeds, even when the filler isn't used.
  • The blocking of R+ material, meaning movies, games, etc.
  • Control over what content is displayed.

I understand the government's aims, but the reality is that the internet is an entirely different beast to movies, television and all of that. Blocking 'inappropriate content' will be unbelievably impractical, and I think they just shouldn't bother. It'll just be another governmental cock-up. Plus, you know, I don't want them to decide what content I should to view. For all I know they could block one of my favourite anime shows and then I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Yeah, just a tad dramatic there.

Oh, and I'm leaving for (the flooded) Tamworth on Saturday. Looking at rocks shall be fun! No net activity for a week. [insert smiles] Pull out your sniper, God, and aim for my shiny forehead.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Aleatz Hates Australia (Movie)

Eh, this is definitely a sarcastic one. Because I enjoyed the movie tremendously. Despite the fact that I know it's one big tourism ad for Australia. We all have to bite our tongues sometimes in this world, because money just has such a big part to play that you need to be a bit immune to it (otherwise you become a pessimist who hates everything).

I hated the fact that David Wenham (known for his role as Faramir in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy) got to be the villain, overloaded with a ton of cliched dialogue. That made me sad, because he's a great actor. All of my friends and I in the back row laughed everytime he stopped after one of his lines with a long, dramatic pause. We were the only ones who did.

And move over Bindi Irwin! Brandon Walters, who plays 'Nullah' (an aboriginal boy half-cast boy), is the new child face of Australia. He was frigging adorable. Plus it was his first film, and he had no acting experience before Baz decided he wanted him (can you blame ol' Baz?). And he apparently had never heard of Hugh Jackman or Nicole Kidman before. Ha ha... Hilarious!

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Brandon Walters riding a horse. Aren't they adorable?
Source: http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200704/r138534_473231.jpg

After the first half of the movie (which could be a movie in it's own right) Hugh and Nicole don't really have any dialogue together anymore. All they do is pash, have awkward silences and do the occasional sex scene. It was pretty lame.

Final comments? This was basically the Australian version of the Titanic. A lot of money was spent on this long film, and although it is 'epic' it really is that cliched kind of epic we've seen too many times before. There are a lot of funny moments, exciting moments and all of that, but they back it up with so much predictable things, lame dialogue and Hollywood-style backdrops. If you can tolerate that kind of thing I think you'll find it to be a good movie.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Aleatz Hates Exams (but loves when they're over)

Don't be fooled by the title. This entry is filler! To all of you who are new to email list, bitch to me if you want to be off it. I won't hesitate to remove your ungrateful face off it.

So my last exam was today. Tomorrow I'm going to see Australia. The movie, not the country (that was a running joke at work tonight. You don't have to laugh just because they did). So, I might end up writing an entry on how I hated it (or sarcastically saying I hate it when I actually love it. I do that a lot). Truth be told I've never seen a Baz film that I've adored. I thought they were all pretty average. Of course, all of us are amateur critics, so none of us really have the right to talk unless we're being paid. Ha ha...

I suppose I should say something about exams now, seeing as that's the title. Um, 2 were shit? 2 were good. 1 was average. I figure if I end up breaking even I'll be all set! Three of them were on three days in a row, which was shocking, seeing as the two shit ones were on right after the other. Everyone is jealous of me because I finished my exams early in the week, but no one realises how much I died in the Monday exam. Apparently the biology exam got cancelled half-way through because the fire alarm went off and the building got evacuated. Now they have to do it next Tuesday. Sucks to be them!

So, two of my exams were about geology. The first one (which was shit) involved a massive section where you identified rocks and named their characteristics. I was tempted to write 'This rock is harder than the steel nail, so it'd be good for throwing at someone I don't like', but I decided against it since I needed every mark I could find. Other temptations included 'This rock is porous, so it'll be good for sticking up someone's nose to stop bleeding' and 'This rock is shiny!'

On another note, I'm going to Tamworth in the country next week to look at MORE rocks! It's almost as if my uni break was striving to be shitastic all on it's lonesome! People in my classes are apparently smuggling some alcohol up there, but I don't see much point in drinking on a uni course. All it'll do is make you crap for the mornings when they want you to get up at 6am so you don't miss the rocks.

Some plutonic rocks go into hibernation after 7am, didn't you know? ...Don't lie and say you did.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Aleatz Hates Fillers (#2)

Note to all of you who receive emails: I'm altering the email list soon. If you enjoy getting email updates please email me and tell me to continue sending them to you. If not, well... Your loss!

I just feel like a random rant right now. I can't really justify why. I suppose I have time to 'spare' (a.k.a. no assignment due tomorrow), but I'm tired after today so I can't stay on one topic.

Regular visitors of the interwebz would be familiar with commenting (such as on blogs, HMM??) and I couldn't help but get ticked off by the numerous people who, being the first to comment, write 'Zomg first comment!' then nothing after it... It has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life. Do people not get the point of commenting? You're supposed to talk about the thing the comment box is under, not say how you're the first to comment as if it's some amazing accomplishment that no moron could do. Oh, and then doing a second post with the comment. Haha... Weren't you supposed to say 'ZOMG 2ND COMMENT!!!11!'? Because there's no point in breaking a moronic trend. It makes it less funny for the rest of us.

Anyway, I did my Isys practical exam today. Which I aced. I'm not usually that confident for an exam, infact I usually come out of them thinking I've failed. But this was simple 'how i typ in word?' crap. Then when someone in the room said 'What do they mean by "Print Screen"?' I thought 'Yep, it's in the bag'. Although, print screen is a legitimate thing not to know about. If you're not into computers then it makes sense that you wouldn't use it. Kind of like 'Find...', eh Dom?

Anyway, FINALS NEXT WEEK! Holy shit this year went fast! I can't believe it. Even though I went to Europe and worked and had uni... It all just disappeared. It doesn't feel like I've learnt all that much either. I know a bit about rocks now... But that doesn't feel all too significant. I'm enjoying my non-geology courses, like Global Studies and Information Systems, because they're a change of pace, you know? Global Studies has been my absolute favourite, even though there's a lot of essays involved.

[/filler]