Aleatz Hates Extremist Feminists, ACA and a Lot of Other Shit

I was going to write ‘feminism’, but quickly changed my mind after I felt the idea of equal rights women wasn’t really a bad one. No, it’s actually feminists (the extreme ones) where the problem lies. I’m not sure where to start this one, since it was probably a combination of a few recent (as in: when I wrote this draft, heh) events which stuck out, mostly this one:

Chaser Outrage

Curse those Chaser boys and their disgusting demonstration of abuse to women! I bet ACA was popping champagne the following week when the Chasers did their infamous “Make-a-Realistic-Wish Foundation” skit, because at least with that they didn’t have to disembowel the truth in order to make elderly viewers outraged. It only goes to show how someone’s ideals can easily be skewed by the media.

It’s pretty damn obvious to anyone watching that ‘report’ (if you’re going so far as to call it such) that what ACA was interpreting as ‘abuse to women’ was actually showing the irony of not allowing a female governor-general into a men’s club where all previous governor-generals were members. What is more ironic is that a stunt which could almost be described as having a pro-feminist stance was presented on ACA as being anti-feminist.

The random woman they roped into the report is probably the thing that pissed me off the most. Surely anyone with intelligence wouldn’t fall for ACA’s trick, would they? It makes me question some of the so called ‘feminists’ and the point they want everyone to understand. Sometimes people just get so angry/passionate about an issue that they end up neglecting all reasoning in their quest to impose their ideals on others.

Feminists who visit third world countries and try to help cultures adapt to a more equalitarian society are people I truly respect. Even those who fought for equality back when women didn’t have many of the rights they have today I respect (with the exception of Germaine Greer… she’s nuts. ‘Women should taste their own menstrual blood’, no thanks). However, the extremists like that chick and the ones who just go around bitching about men (and then wonder, 18 cats later, why they’re not married) just annoy me. We live in a first world country. We’ve been through waves of feminism, and come out practically on par with men. Men have to live with their stereotypes too.

‘Violence against women, Australia says “no”’. Shouldn’t it be violence against anyone? If a women beats up her husband, is that a-okay now? Sometimes I wonder whether all this so-called ‘feminism’ is actually helping the cause.

Aleatz Hates Dream Crushers

Misleading title. The real one is supposed to be ‘Aleatz Hates Fad Diets’, but, you know… Dream crushers relates to everybody! And I’m in a very including mood right now (if that is a mood. Let’s see if Facebook thinks so).

Fad diets are a real crime of the modern world. They prey on the stupid and fat (or some who have a bit of both, like myself) and take their money, time and effort and transform it into Lamborghinis and palaces made of crystal… Okay, I made that stuff up, but the rest is true! Take a quick look at this site, which takes a humourous approach to fad diets:

http://www.faddiet.com/

I like the Chocolate Diet. Too bad it doesn’t actually contain that much chocolate.

After a browse at Westfield and seeing how much money can be made through books on fad diets I thought it might be a good idea to invent my own.

Aleatz’s ‘Put Down the Potato Chip or I’ll Shoot!’ Diet

Rules

• You may only eat on days of the week starting with ‘T’ or ‘S’ and ending with ‘Y’. If you proceed to tell me that all the days of the week end with ‘Y’, I’ll proceed to make this diet harder to follow.
• Any food which you can juggle may be eaten, but ONLY if you can eat it whilst juggling.
• Any food with a funny name is off limits. This includes Horlicks, Chili Willy sauce, Spotted Dick or any type of assorted nuts.
• If you can write and perform an original song about a food you may eat as much of it as you want at Christmas. (Just try NOT thinking about Christmas carols!)
• If you have described a type of food as ‘favourite’ online, to friends or in any form of questionnaire or conversation then you may never eat that food again. EVER.
• Exercise isn’t essential, but if you become my slave for a week you’ll be allowed to eat whatever you want. Even some sort of gelatin dish. It’s made from hooves, you know.
• Spam is bad. Both on the net and in a can. Just don’t, people. Just don’t. If you do, you won’t get food for a year. The diet says so!
• Once a month, fill your bath tub with one of the following: Oats, jelly, chocolate, milk, chocolate milk, chocolate milk oats, chocolate-milk-oat-flavoured jelly or canned spaghetti. Swim in the contents, and then reflect on what a pig you are. If you don’t turn bulimic after that, then… man… God knows I tried hard enough.

After six months on the PDTPCOIS diet, buy a pair of pants 14 sizes  bigger than your pants at the time (I guarantee they won’t fit you!) and go up to strangers while wearing them outside your normal pants. They’ll be impressed. Proceed to direct them to this diet.

Man I’m good.

Point is, fad diets just crush people’s dreams. So, I don’t know… Go eat a sandwich or burn down the Health section in Borders. Just do something constructive for a change. Why must I do all the work?

Aleatz Hates Anime Conventions

In keeping to my list with the weekly blog post (as you can see I’m stretching the weeks out a little) I decided to post this one… And in keeping to the ‘hates’ title, I obviously had to take a negative perspective of anime conventions. Obviously I don’t feel they’re overly negative, since I go to them and wouldn’t do so unless I enjoyed them. But yes, there’s much boourns to discuss. Beginning now!

They all sell the same crap. All of them. All Naruto, Death Note, Bleach etc. All wanky, over-priced items which you don’t really need, like plushies, key chains and mouse pads. It gets pretty tiring. Then you get the stalls which don’t take the innovative to reduce their normal retail prices at these annual events (I’m looking at you, EB).

Stalls like Madman have a wide selection, but similar stalls offering good value are scarce. Merchandise stalls, like I mentioned earlier, only offer items from the most popular animes (I suppose that’s not entirely their fault), and most of the items are poor quality for the prices charged.

Then you get the artist aisle, which is usually not too bad. They have their art on display and you wander over for a looksie, but POW! Every now and then you get one who’s trying to push their work onto you. NO I DON’T WANT TO READ YOUR COMIC BOOK! THE COVER DISTURBED ME ENOUGH, ALL RIGHT?! At least the artists making bookmarks with male characters making out on them have the decency to not force-sell you crap!

Sometimes you’ll be lucky and some stand will be giving out freebies. What, Australian Idol for PS2?! Who the hell thought that would sell? “Nevermind guys, just palm it off to walkers by.” A Gears of War necklace? HOW GENEROUS OF YOU EB!

There’s giving stuff out for free, and then there’s monkeys flinging faeces at your hair.

Oh, did I talk about the cosplayers yet? Clearly not. All I can say is, wow. I think they’re supposed to be compensation for the severe lack of real celebrities that we get here in Sydney. Because, seriously, who comes here? I mean, even Neville Longbottom cancelled. IF NEVILLE FREAKING LONGBOTTOM CANCELS, YOU KNOW SOMETHING’S WRONG. “But don’t worry, because we’ve still got Krum!” Oh la-de-da then. Fantastic. Lets all go see Victor Krum will he’s still memorable! Come on kids, you don’t want to miss this!

Jerks.