Thursday, October 15, 2009

Aleatz Hates Personal Change

Gee, I feel like I’ve turned into the stereotypical woman of late. Not only have I been buying clothes due to the majority of my wardrobe no longer fitting, I’ve also been doing a large portion of the family grocery shopping and cooking.

Maybe this is why there’s been no recently blog activity. WHOOPSIES?

Who cares. I’m getting back into ‘me’ mode, which can be considered good or bad depending on how you look at it. This entire year has been a focus on self-improvement and self-enlightenment- okay, the last one was a bit of BS, but there has definitely been some self-improvement. In the quest for a ‘better’ me there was a good amount of effort put into uni work [insert laugh] and health. However, personality-wise I feel as if I’ve turned into that grumpy, old hag down the street who no one likes (even her own son who she harasses on the phone despite him being her only form of human contact).

Fictional hag aside, I feel the blog is a good thing. Thus the entry.  Hopefully it shall be followed with how much I hate Woolies and love Aldis. Damn, I hope I’m not seriously planning on writing an entry on shopping…

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Aleatz Hates Awkward Silences

What a fantabulous week. That's the word I've been using for anyone who's asked me how my week was. I'm back at university, tackling my 3rd year geophysics course with a new vigour! Last night I threw some mango bath salt in the tub and had a half hour soak while reading my slides and listening to the lecturer say 'Fourier's Analysis' over my speakers for the eleventh time... still not quite sure what it means, but at least I remember the phrase!

But you’re not here because you give a fuck about my boring life, so let’s sit around the fire and have a nice bitch about something.

I would bitch about Telstra, ACA, The Sims… But all those drafts are on my laptop which currently is in repair due to the none functioning backlight.

Oh, I know. Holiday list! What the hell did I actually do? Let’s tick some shit off it, shall we? (And thus we direct back to my boring life)

  • Got my haircut. There’s no actual photos of it on Facebook, so stop stalking me. The one up there is fake, if you couldn’t already pull your glasses close enough to your eyes to tell.
  • I wrote more on TWO stories, actually. Whether it adds up to 15 000, I’m not sure (due to non-functioning laptop mentioned earlier). I doubt I have, but who cares? I probably did more than you did in your holidays.
  • Bug Lizie… No. Lizie had to deal with enough crap over the last couple of months already.
  • Didn’t compose shit. I know. I’m as sad about it as you all are.
  • Cleaned room… Yes! But now it looks awful again. I suppose that’s the idea. To clean it when it gets dirty; not just once in a holiday period.
  • Book reading, no. I tried a few pages of Harry Potter but then gave up. I was at Nelson’s Bay, and the dolphins are way more amusing than an angsty wizard.
  • Video games… NO. Didn’t actually finish one, but I got close! I’ve almost finished Advance Wars, and I’ve done a few more chapters of Dawn, Trauma Centre and Apollo Justice.
  • Banner, no.
  • CD, NO.
  • TWEWY Set, NO- I mean, YES! Did that one! Phew. Almost made me sound really lazy.
  • Help mum… Kinda did this, but not for a solid week. My mum confuses me anyway. I think it worked out best, whatever happened.
  • Cooked 5 interesting things. Er… WELL. What did I make? I made lots of jelly with fruit in it (not really interesting). I also made this coconut stirfry thing I coined myself with cabbage, lemon and coconut cream. Also made chicken and plum sauce. What’s that add up too? 3?! Shit, is that all? Man…
  • Make one new wallpaper- NO!
  • Re-installed SOME of my missing programs. I sort of had to. You know, no laptop and all.
  • Sorted out uni. 3 days a week, FTW.
  • Visited the gym twice a week. YES. Did this one! Hell, I even have biceps now! Check it out! Oh… wait. Can you see me on this thing? No? Oh, that’s probably for the best.
  • Spend quality time with friends… Not as much as I would have liked. I need to do this. It’s driving me insane. Uni + Work = No social life.
  • I practised my flute for the Christmas thingy. Good effort, I saw.
  • Didn’t send postcards. Maybe I should round up the addresses first. That’s a good idea.
  • CAN’T AFFORD BOOZE! Seriously, I spent too much on uni already!
  • Clothes shopping, yep! Good to cross one more off.
  • Write one blog post a week… Er, whoops?

That’s about 10/22. Dang. Oh well, I did some of the things on it.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Aleatz Hates Extremist Feminists, ACA and a Lot of Other Shit

I was going to write ‘feminism’, but quickly changed my mind after I felt the idea of equal rights women wasn’t really a bad one. No, it’s actually feminists (the extreme ones) where the problem lies. I’m not sure where to start this one, since it was probably a combination of a few recent (as in: when I wrote this draft, heh) events which stuck out, mostly this one:

Chaser Outrage
Chaser Outrage

Curse those Chaser boys and their disgusting demonstration of abuse to women! I bet ACA was popping champagne the following week when the Chasers did their infamous “Make-a-Realistic-Wish Foundation” skit, because at least with that they didn’t have to disembowel the truth in order to make elderly viewers outraged. It only goes to show how someone’s ideals can easily be skewed by the media.

It’s pretty damn obvious to anyone watching that ‘report’ (if you’re going so far as to call it such) that what ACA was interpreting as ‘abuse to women’ was actually showing the irony of not allowing a female governor-general into a men’s club where all previous governor-generals were members. What is more ironic is that a stunt which could almost be described as having a pro-feminist stance was presented on ACA as being anti-feminist.

The random woman they roped into the report is probably the thing that pissed me off the most. Surely anyone with intelligence wouldn’t fall for ACA’s trick, would they? It makes me question some of the so called ‘feminists’ and the point they want everyone to understand. Sometimes people just get so angry/passionate about an issue that they end up neglecting all reasoning in their quest to impose their ideals on others.

Feminists who visit third world countries and try to help cultures adapt to a more equalitarian society are people I truly respect. Even those who fought for equality back when women didn’t have many of the rights they have today I respect (with the exception of Germaine Greer… she’s nuts. ‘Women should taste their own menstrual blood’, no thanks). However, the extremists like that chick and the ones who just go around bitching about men (and then wonder, 18 cats later, why they’re not married) just annoy me. We live in a first world country. We’ve been through waves of feminism, and come out practically on par with men. Men have to live with their stereotypes too.

‘Violence against women, Australia says “no”’. Shouldn’t it be violence against anyone? If a women beats up her husband, is that a-okay now? Sometimes I wonder whether all this so-called ‘feminism’ is actually helping the cause.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Aleatz Hates Dream Crushers

Misleading title. The real one is supposed to be ‘Aleatz Hates Fad Diets’, but, you know… Dream crushers relates to everybody! And I’m in a very including mood right now (if that is a mood. Let’s see if Facebook thinks so).

Fad diets are a real crime of the modern world. They prey on the stupid and fat (or some who have a bit of both, like myself) and take their money, time and effort and transform it into Lamborghinis and palaces made of crystal… Okay, I made that stuff up, but the rest is true! Take a quick look at this site, which takes a humourous approach to fad diets:

http://www.faddiet.com/

I like the Chocolate Diet. Too bad it doesn’t actually contain that much chocolate.

After a browse at Westfield and seeing how much money can be made through books on fad diets I thought it might be a good idea to invent my own.

Aleatz’s ‘Put Down the Potato Chip or I’ll Shoot!’ Diet

Rules

  • You may only eat on days of the week starting with ‘T’ or ‘S’ and ending with ‘Y’. If you proceed to tell me that all the days of the week end with ‘Y’, I’ll proceed to make this diet harder to follow.
  • Any food which you can juggle may be eaten, but ONLY if you can eat it whilst juggling.
  • Any food with a funny name is off limits. This includes Horlicks, Chili Willy sauce, Spotted Dick or any type of assorted nuts.
  • If you can write and perform an original song about a food you may eat as much of it as you want at Christmas. (Just try NOT thinking about Christmas carols!)
  • If you have described a type of food as ‘favourite’ online, to friends or in any form of questionnaire or conversation then you may never eat that food again. EVER.
  • Exercise isn’t essential, but if you become my slave for a week you’ll be allowed to eat whatever you want. Even some sort of gelatin dish. It’s made from hooves, you know.
  • Spam is bad. Both on the net and in a can. Just don’t, people. Just don’t. If you do, you won’t get food for a year. The diet says so!
  • Once a month, fill your bath tub with one of the following: Oats, jelly, chocolate, milk, chocolate milk, chocolate milk oats, chocolate-milk-oat-flavoured jelly or canned spaghetti. Swim in the contents, and then reflect on what a pig you are. If you don’t turn bulimic after that, then… man… God knows I tried hard enough.

After six months on the PDTPCOIS diet, buy a pair of pants 14 sizes  bigger than your pants at the time (I guarantee they won’t fit you!) and go up to strangers while wearing them outside your normal pants. They’ll be impressed. Proceed to direct them to this diet.

Man I’m good.

Point is, fad diets just crush people’s dreams. So, I don’t know… Go eat a sandwich or burn down the Health section in Borders. Just do something constructive for a change. Why must I do all the work?

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Aleatz Hates Anime Conventions

In keeping to my list with the weekly blog post (as you can see I’m stretching the weeks out a little) I decided to post this one… And in keeping to the ‘hates’ title, I obviously had to take a negative perspective of anime conventions. Obviously I don’t feel they’re overly negative, since I go to them and wouldn’t do so unless I enjoyed them. But yes, there’s much boourns to discuss. Beginning now!

They all sell the same crap. All of them. All Naruto, Death Note, Bleach etc. All wanky, over-priced items which you don’t really need, like plushies, key chains and mouse pads. It gets pretty tiring. Then you get the stalls which don’t take the innovative to reduce their normal retail prices at these annual events (I’m looking at you, EB).

Stalls like Madman have a wide selection, but similar stalls offering good value are scarce. Merchandise stalls, like I mentioned earlier, only offer items from the most popular animes (I suppose that’s not entirely their fault), and most of the items are poor quality for the prices charged.

Then you get the artist aisle, which is usually not too bad. They have their art on display and you wander over for a looksie, but POW! Every now and then you get one who’s trying to push their work onto you. NO I DON’T WANT TO READ YOUR COMIC BOOK! THE COVER DISTURBED ME ENOUGH, ALL RIGHT?! At least the artists making bookmarks with male characters making out on them have the decency to not force-sell you crap!

Sometimes you’ll be lucky and some stand will be giving out freebies. What, Australian Idol for PS2?! Who the hell thought that would sell? “Nevermind guys, just palm it off to walkers by.” A Gears of War necklace? HOW GENEROUS OF YOU EB!

There’s giving stuff out for free, and then there’s monkeys flinging faeces at your hair.

Oh, did I talk about the cosplayers yet? Clearly not. All I can say is, wow. I think they’re supposed to be compensation for the severe lack of real celebrities that we get here in Sydney. Because, seriously, who comes here? I mean, even Neville Longbottom cancelled. IF NEVILLE FREAKING LONGBOTTOM CANCELS, YOU KNOW SOMETHING’S WRONG. “But don’t worry, because we’ve still got Krum!” Oh la-de-da then. Fantastic. Lets all go see Victor Krum will he’s still memorable! Come on kids, you don’t want to miss this!

Jerks.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Aleatz Hates Filler (#3)

So I’m making a list of things I’ll be doing in the holidays. Everyone can’t wait for the holidays, but as soon as they come people start bitching about how they get bored. That’s why I have planned ahead, making a comprehensive list of high priority activities which need doing, as well as some things that are just there because they’re good fun.

  • Getting a major hair cut: This one needs to be done, in more ways than one. I need a trim, for a start. But also, I’ve never had ‘short’ hair, so it shall be interesting.
  • Writing 15 000 words of my story: I’m up to 23 000, so I want to add an extra 15 000 to it. Sounds like a plan. I’m not sure I’ll get past 10 000, but we’ll see how it goes.
  • Bug Lizie to illustrate book cover and write up with blurb: Not really a big deal, but it gives me a chance to poke her with a stick! One of my favourite activities.
  • Composer/sequence one new composition on Sibelius.
  • Clean room: Oh God, yes. There’s dust settling on my dust collection.
  • Read at least one book: I’m aiming for 1984, but if I’m not in the mood to get that one (which could be the case) then I’ll resort to my unread David Gemmell books littering my bookshelf.
  • Finish at least one video game: Ones which look promising in this respect are Advance Wars (latest), Fire Emblem (Shadow Dragon, because IS is dyslectic and couldn’t just say ‘DS’), Fire Emblem (Dawn of Radiance), Rune Factory 2 (yeah, I think I might need more than a month), Harvest Moon DS (oh Muffy, how patient for me you have been!), Trauma Centre 2, yadda, yadda, yadda…
  • Create banner for SES: Yep. It’s on the friggin’ list!
  • Finish SES CD: So is this.
  • Make TWEWY set: And this as well.
  • Help mum for about a week: I couldn’t get out of this.
  • Cook 5 new interesting things.
  • Make one new wallpaper.
  • Re-install all my programs on my shitty desktop: Fucking virus.
  • Sort out uni courses and timetables for semester 2: If I don’t past Stat I will be pissed.
  • Visit the gym at least 2 times a week: Hahaha… Not likely!
  • Spend quality time with friends: Not on Sims though.
  • Practise flute for old people thing at Christmas… Yeah, I don’t even know anymore.
  • Send postcards to all my overseas pals: With some rock fragments in the envelopes so they know I care about them as much as rocks (which is not as much as people tend to think).
  • Stock up on booze for future ‘cocktail nights’: We shall see if my wallet lets me.
  • Go shopping for clothes: I can’t believe this is on a list. Hate shopping. Hate it.

Think this will fill up a month? I hope so. Oh, and:

  • Write one blog post a week.

You are all witness to this one!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Aleatz Hates Hats

 

I didn’t hate hats until I came to university and realised how stupid they were. Generally speaking they’re quite practically. After all, who do you trust to keep the sun off your head? You could look like a dork and carry around an inconvenient umbrella OR you could be a kool kat and wear a hat:

Source: http://www.popculturepost.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/22stre6001.jpg

It seems that everyone in the joint is wearing a Fedora or a Trilby (I didn’t even know the difference until I wrote this thing). I know I lack fashion sense and whether people wear hats or not is nothing really important, but am I the only person who thinks they look stupid? Especially on an overcast day where the clouds are preparing for good drenching, why do you need a hat?

I realised the true craziness of it all when I saw one guy wearing a top hat.

Some argue that a hat is a good way to express yourself and form an identity. My opinion is that if you need a hat to create an identity for yourself then you don’t really deserve an identity. For crying out loud, man! Who wears a damn top hat outside a Victorian fancy dress party?! Are you an amateur magician?! HAS YOUR BUNNY SUFFOCATED YET?!

There’s one more excuse given for hats, something that goes a little like this:

“I wear it because my hair is so messy.”

Right. So you have a hat, but not a brush? Nice to see you earned your place in tertiary education well.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Aleatz Hates GIS

Okay. This isn’t really important at all. Lizie made the request for more blogging action, and I’m just making it happen. That said, GIS is a bitch. What is GIS? Glad you asked. It stands for ‘Geographical Information Systems’, or alternatively ‘God’s Insufferable Shit’. Think I’m being a tad melodramatic? I don’t.

GIS, in summary, is sitting at a computer and imputing data in order to make maps. This wouldn’t be so bad if the data itself wasn’t so unidentifiable. It’s also helped by the fact that if you screw up there’s no way of knowing you’ve screwed up… So you continue following the steps, then BAM! You have a bunch of red crosses staring you in the face going ‘You are a moron because you screwed up something you did 2 hours ago and now you have to do 2 hours of work all over again! HAHAHA!’

But there’s more.

The oversized step-by-step course book given to you is riddled with typos and errors, just making it easier for you to give a file the wrong name and then wonder why you can’t find it 3 weeks later.

Finally you produce your pretty map of Sydney depicting population density, and then all of a sudden the program crashes because the computer it’s on just wasn’t built to hold so much excrement. You sit their crying, wondering why you didn’t save earlier. But then you remember that saving would have made all your stupid mistakes from earlier permanent!

People not taking this course wouldn’t really understand it. A girl in my class arrived an hour early for today’s 3 hour prac so she was positive she could leave on time. In the end something screwed up, even though she’d been following the instructions perfectly. Even the teacher couldn’t solve it.

SO. Four hours to produce nothing but anger and a red cross… She must know what it’s like to be Jewish! [Cue Chaser-style, half of audience laugh, other half sigh]

Only kidding. I don’t know how long it took the Jews.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Aleatz Hates Blatant Advertising

I probably shouldn’t be writing this, as I have 3 assignments which are due next week. That said, I’ve been doing one of them all day, and with Last.FM on as I listen to music I couldn’t help but look at the artist ‘bio’ for 3OH!3 when ‘Don’t Trust Me’ came on.

Straight off the streets of Ballerado, 3OH!3 comes outta the gate with high-class rhymes, low-brow beats and more party than the Bolshevik revolution.
You don’t get more gangsta than Sean Foreman and Nathaniel Motte – two natives of Boulder, Colorado, the nation’s capital of hippies, hempwear and Hummers. Ever since they first connected over a mutual man-crush on Buck 65 in a University of Colorado physics class, 3OH!3 has been packing clubs and liberating libidos with their trademark blend of dirty synths and even dirtier come-ons.
Their live shows – spiked with spastic, synchronized dance moves – whip capacity crowds into a gang-sign-throwing, finger-licking frenzy. While keeping their tongues buried deep in their cheeks, Foreman and Motte drop sucker-punch vocals over hard-edged beats that are absolutely no joke.
On their Photo Finish Records debut, these homeboys crumble their crackers into a saucy stew of hip-hop hardness, electro eroticism and 80s pop pabulum. Imagine JJ Fad getting down with Justice, or DMX getting all Depeche Mode on your ass, and you might have a clue of the kind of sonic blasphemy 3OH!3’s bringing.
Recorded with noted producer Matt Squire - with extra booty juice ladled on by bassmaster Benny Blanco (Spank Rock, Bangers & Cash) on a few tracks - the boys’ latest slab of bacon comes on like a heart attack – cool and tingly at first, then a little frightening, and ending with a knockdown, drag-out bang. That might sound dangerous – and it is.
Foreman says, “It’s a lot like a math problem,” and we couldn’t agree more. Assuming that your arithmetic homework involves head-rattling wordplay, skronky electronic experimentation and bowel-loosening beats.
“They’re so banging, they’ll blow any sound system,” brags the boastful MC Foreman of the new tracks. Part of the banging is thanks to the unholy alliance between 3OH!3 and Squire, better known for his work with folks like Boys Like Girls and Panic at the Disco. Whoever said oil and water don’t mix never tasted a good vinaigrette. Describing the zesty mélange that came out of the collaboration, Foreman is never at a loss for a simile. “It’s like renting a movie with three different people at Blockbuster.”
Lest you think the 3OH!3’s rough edges will be smoothed out by the slick sliders of a platinum producer, rest assured that the Boulder boys are keeping it realer than Roswell.
“We want to capture some of that rawness from when we were recording in the shower.”
So if you’re ready for a bumping throw down at the hoedown, let 3OH!3 get the party started.

I’ve never read something so stupid in my life. I don’t think it’s possible for more emotional jargon to be shoved into this biography. Instead of doing something most artists on Last.FM which is having the name of the members, year and location of formation and the basic stuff in simple English, some arse (probably their manager) decides to put up a shitastic description littered with words like ‘outta’ and ‘gangsta’. ‘Bowel-loosening beats’, huh? Does that mean it’s shit?

Hawthorne Heights has a similar crappy bio too, however theirs isn’t such a blatant form of advertising. However, the fact that someone wrote 'Hawthorne Heights became the face of a whole new generation of music fans’ still scares me a little.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Aleatz Hates Shitty Anime Devices

If I see another ‘serious’ male character push his glasses back with his index finger while making some serious remark, I swear I will burn down an orphanage.

There’s so many great plots and artwork out there… But then some fucktard thinks it’s a great idea to do the same thing EVERYONE ELSE DOES and make their character wear glasses and be constantly pushing them back up their nose!

NO. YOU ARE RUINING YOUR OWN WORK. STOP DOING IT.

It’s almost as annoying as 99% of the anime intros which suck balls because they go for 90 seconds and have every character standing on a hilltop with the wind blowing through their friggin’ hair while the camera keeps moving like it’s attached to a hand-glider.

I think my favourite anime intro was probably Soul Eater, even though it sticks to the cliché. The song is so good and the art is so shinny it doesn’t seem to matter.

Endings aren’t usually any better, because it’s always some cutesy, different art style being used for some variety… BUT EVERY ARTIST DOES IT. (See Black Cat, FMA: Brotherhood, yadda yadda yadda…) Then they add some chirpy song to it and they’re a carbon copy of everyone else’s ending.

Oh, did I mention official art? I personally would enjoy seeing more beautifully rendered scenes from the anime/manga then all of the characters posing in various outfits OVER and OVER and OVER AGAIN. It’s good for a half a book, gentlemen! But then it just gets old.

Ok. I’m done with the rant. Now time to burn down an orphanage.

Aleatz Hates Easter

Serious question: What does chocolate have to do with Jesus?

After exploring the origins of the modern Easter I discovered that the answer was quite simple: Not a shitload.

It’s just another example of how the Christian religion got low on ideas and decided to take something from the Pagans… A lot like Christmas! (…Because we all know shepherds don’t camp in the fields in the middle of friggin’ winter.)

So now I’m struggling to figure out who I should thank for the origins of Darrell Lea’s Nougat Egg/Christmas Pudding (they’re the same thing, only in a different package at a different time of the year).

That’s it. From now on I’m worshipping Darrell Lea at Easter!

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Aleatz Hates Dragonball Evolution

Photobucket

Chow Yun-Fat looks like he's lost in a sea of excrement. That's probably closer to the truth then we'd like to believe.

[spoiler]

OKAY. Here’s the entire story. Goku is a 17/18 year old, white boy who goes to high school and gets picked on by all the ‘popular’ guys and called ‘Geek-u’ or some shit. He wants to bang Chi Chi, the pretty Asian chick, but he has no balls (despite the movie title this doesn’t really change throughout the film). Then he goes against his grandpa’s wishes by picking a fight with the guys at school and kicks all their arses without touching them. Suddenly Chi Chi is all over him like crumbs on a blanket.

Piccolo kills his grandpa, steals his dragonball, yadda, yadda, yadda, barf. Goku swears revenge. Meets Bulma. Barely any character introduction, but we’ll live. There’s too much to fit into the 80 minute time slot.

Master Roshi is Chow Yun-Fat, so that just shows that casting went out the window. They meet up and go searching for the other dragonballs before Piccolo gets them… Etc. They meet Yamcha. Stuff happens. Goku learns the Kamehameha in one night. Implied romance between him and Chi Chi. Piccolo’s shapeshifting henchlady, Mai, turns into Chi Chi and there’s a fight scene or something and she steals their dragonballs… More stuff happens.

The final conflict with Piccolo occurs after about an hour of suffering. He and Roshi fight. Goku learns he is actually Oozaru. Goku chucks a tanty and turns into Oozaru and kills Roshi, even though Piccolo has basically already killed him. Goku turns back to normal then destroys Piccolo or whatever. Then he uses the dragonballs to bring Roshi back to life. Yadda, yadda, yadda, end.

[/spoiler]

Don’t watch it. Don’t consider watching it. Don’t stare at the movie poster for more than 2 seconds. It is crap. The acting sucks. The writing is terrible. The casting is sickening. It has little to do with Dragonball. It’s almost as if Fox doesn’t like success.

People bitch about the series, but at least that had entertainment value. I’m not even sure whether this was one of those ‘So bad it was hilarious’ movies, because I sniggered once while watching it and I’m pretty sure it was because Lizie was begging for the link.

I knew it would be crap. But seriously… Fox. That 100 million could have been given to starving kids in Africa! I hope you lose on this you bastards.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

Aleatz Hates Kid Rock

Wow. This place is empty!

Ok, so where do I start? I think it was on one of my drives to uni where I saw a car with a stupid number plate on the back saying 'Kid Rock'. That's when I realised the world was stupid. Not just because 'All Summer Long' was a #1 hit in numerous countries, but because there was someone out there with a number plate with his name on it.

I don't really know much about Kid Rock to be honest. In fact, I can't even remember any of his songs. Only 'All Summer Long'. I wouldn't have even considered him hate-worthy were it not for that craptastic piece of shite. He took one of the most repetitive songs in the world (seriously... 3 chords over and over again), changed the lyrics, had some backing vocalists put in, yadda, yadda, yadda... Suddenly it is the "biggest hit of his career" (that should be a good indication of how great the rest of his music is). Then some chick puts a number plate with his name on it on the back of her car.

Did I mention he got awards and critical exclaim for it? I'm seriously concerned about the state of the modern music industry.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Aleatz Hates Chick Flicks

So, yesterday I saw two movies. The first was 'John Tucker Must Die', which apparently is a great movie or something. The other (kinda by accident) was 'Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb'. For all of those who've never heard of that one, here's a small Simpsons parody that might jog your memory:



'Dr Strangelove' made me realise what a good movie was supposed to be. The fact that the movie was 40 years old didn't even seem to matter, because it was still exceptionally hilarious. Such an awesome satire. After watching it I thought 'Wow, how could something like this be produced in the 60s in the US?!' Then I saw the credits and noticed it was all filmed in England. Highly surprising... but not really. If the British are good at anything, it's comedy.

Now, 'John Tucker Must Die'... It was meh. This seemed to remind me of previous chick flicks and how they have a general trend of being terrible. Sometimes you can be in the mood for a good chick flick, but when there are only so many hours in a day I can't understand why a person would go to the cinema twice in order to see something like John Tucker.



'This story is about John Tucker.'

Who cares?

Seriously. This movie uses every high school stereotype it can in order to not develop interesting characters. None of it is particularly funny... How does this qualify as a good movie?

Everyone, go and watch 'Dr Strangelove' before your life is over from watching too many shit movies.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Aleatz Hates Sasuke (Revisited)

Holy crap. I almost feel like taking back every good thing I've said about the Naruto series. Not because of the series itself, or even (to a certain extent) the characters in the series, but the large amount of fans who post indecipherable comments in relation to a rather short, crappy article I wrote about a fictional character.

Half the reason Sasuke sucks so bad is because of you.

If he didn't have a hoard of whiny fangirls defending him with their shitty comments he wouldn't suck more than a straw in melted ice cream. Do you think the people who have written proper comments in relation to that article didn't realise that Sasuke is a fictional character? Then why must you repetitively point it out to them?! Hell, why must you even need to defend him if he is fictional?!

One of the most common comments in defence of Sasuke's shitty personality is 'Sasuke's entire clan was killed by his brother and he saw it and that's why he's the way he is'. (Just imagine that with less grammar and incorrect spelling.)

Anime is filled with characters with traumatic pasts. Orphans, survivors of genocide/wars, etc. etc. barf. It is one of the major clichés of anime. Doesn't mean I can't point and laugh at a character now, does it? Doesn't mean the character has to be a complete douche. And an uninteresting douche at that.

But yeah, I don't understand why the majority of the hits/comments for this blog are based on the Sasuke page. Naruto isn't even a series worth fanboying. So, here's my final point in summary. I've even included pretty images for the people who still don't get it:

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If you feel the urge to comment, go ahead. But be warned that I'm going to read comments as they are written. So if you can't spell 'you' with the two first letters then I'm sure we won't be getting far.

Now get off my lawn!