Saturday, August 23, 2008

Aleatz Hates Dick Masterson

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Sunday, August 17, 2008

Aleatz Hates Birthdays

In less than 3 hours it will be Reo's 19th birthday, resulting in potential gifts, random people who don't even care about her saying 'happy birthday' and a whole variety of traditional-bogus-rubbish. Candles, cakes, balloons, line dancing... Why do birthdays bring the worst out of everyone? Do people drink in order to forget these annual ordeals? I think they might. Hell, if I wasn't poor, I would. Booze makes even the most embarrassing experiences into mere fragmented memories.

Anyway, to celebrate I've decided to make this post a general rant. You know, of all the things that have been recently pissing me off, you know?

For starters, I hate potato salads. Most retarded form of salad imaginable. Who puts fucking potato in a salad? It's supposed to be cooked, and preferably mashed or baked. You don't cut it up and pour sauce on it to make a side dish. Boourns.

Secondly, I hate, HATE cats. This should already be common knowledge for most of you. They're selfish, ungodly, spoilt, snobby creatures, that spend their days sleeping and eating other animals. I don't care if yours has a fucking bell on it. Chances are it has already learnt how to hunt at night without making it ring anyway. Yes, they are cute as kittens. But I'm pretty sure Hitler made a cute baby too.

Thirdly (man, I'm on a roll!), Death Note's ending. If you actually care what happens, I won't ruin it for you. Spoiler in black, bitches.

Yeah, way to fucking die, Light. I'm sure your dad's proud of you... NO WAIT, HE'S DEAD TOO. He should have shot you while he had the chance.

Lastly, but not least, I'm so sick of chain emails that it is no longer funny. I can't even laugh at the morons sending it to me anymore. It's reached a point where it's simply stupid and I can't stand it. The love of your life won't kiss you tomorrow if you send this email on! They might punch you in the face for being a complete gimp and not realising how much potential energy you're wasting that could have gone to something better than reading a dumb email and forwarding it. Gah, grow a brain.

Happy 19th Birthday Reo! One year off 20, woo...

Friday, August 15, 2008

Aleatz Hates Nintendo's Ideals


Dear Mr. Satoru Iwata,

Let me get some things straight. Firstly, my name isn't Filo. Secondly, I don't want to purchase Wii Fit or My Weight Loss Coach. I've never associated gaming consoles with losing weight, and I certainly don't want to start now. Also, the girl you used in your email is obviously not overweight. Why would she want to lose more weight? Is she an inspiring model? Does she have to meet a weight requirement to get onto a kiddy ride? Help me out here. Do you find some personal enjoyment on making money out of 'trying' to get kids fit which arguably became overweight by playing your games? It's on the same level as Mc Donald's salads. Nintendo isn't a gym. Mc Donald's isn't a health food shop. My self-esteem has been crushed because of your ad. I expect proper compensation, to be frank. I'm sure your profits from games which tell kids they're fat will be enough to cover my loss.

Yours sincerely,
Aleatz.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Aleatz Hates Windows

It didn't take long after typing 'Windows sucks' into Google Images till I found something which made me laugh.



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Source: http://www.crunchgear.com/wp-content/uploads/apple-vs-ms.png



Not that this is anything new though. The Mac vs PC debate has been going on since the dawn of the internet which screws them both over. Even though I don't (nor ever will, in my opinion) own a Mac computer, I have a feeling that if I did I wouldn't have to take it to a repair shop every 5 months because a virus had caused it to crash. Currently I'm typing on my laptop which has Vista as it's OS. Vista is shit. I, and everyone else who had it preinstalled onto their new computer hates it. The people who probably hate it more are those who actually bought it upfront and installed it themselves... then realised how crap it was.

I'm so over the shininess.

I find it funny how a lecturer this week told us an anecdote about how he mentioned Open Office (an open source version of Microsoft Office) and it's awesomeness to his class while the lecture was being recorded, and then got called in and told to stop doing it by a Microsoft representative since our university gets a large amount of funding from Microsoft. This time he was smart enough to turn the recording off.

This post is also why I can't post my legendary (at this rate it will never happen) Europe post since half of my photos are on my broken desktop, with the other half on a friend's computer.

I'm beginning to consider Linux...

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Aleatz Hates Catching Up

Well, that's odd. I come back to over 2500 hits here. Ain't that swell? (Probably a glitch) I'm sure Reo would be pleased, if she weren't too busy playing Brawl.

Internet access in Europe basically didn't occur (or didn't occur long enough) for Reo to add entries regarding the trip, so ultimately she's left it till now to do it. Problem is now she only has half the photographs of the trip (the end half), so she'll be getting back the ones of Spain and half of Rome before she makes here massive 'Aren't you all jealous of where I got to go?!' post.

The reality is that you shouldn't care whether or not Reo makes this post. Don't give her the satisfaction of rubbing this in your face. Boycott this site while you still can, because I'm sure you're all just getting dumber by the second by being here. Well? Move on!

Here's some highlights from Vatican City to tide you curious idiots over...

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Gee, those Italians think of everything! A one stop store for all your Godly accessories!


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Alexis thinks he's God. How cute.


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You know you're surrounded by American tourists when someone inside the Pantheon says 'This must be the Colluseum!'


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Prime real-estate next to the Vatican- $96 000 000. The last ten endangered ferns from South America in your garden- $150 000. Knowing that no one will be able to come into your luxuriously pretentious garden- Priceless. There's some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's God. Now available in over 120 countries worldwide.


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NO POTO! The Popes are... sleeping.


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'Michael Eisner: They look like ants from up here.
Bill Gates: They ARE Ants Michael! They ARE Ants!'