Sunday, August 17, 2008

Aleatz Hates Birthdays

In less than 3 hours it will be Reo's 19th birthday, resulting in potential gifts, random people who don't even care about her saying 'happy birthday' and a whole variety of traditional-bogus-rubbish. Candles, cakes, balloons, line dancing... Why do birthdays bring the worst out of everyone? Do people drink in order to forget these annual ordeals? I think they might. Hell, if I wasn't poor, I would. Booze makes even the most embarrassing experiences into mere fragmented memories.

Anyway, to celebrate I've decided to make this post a general rant. You know, of all the things that have been recently pissing me off, you know?

For starters, I hate potato salads. Most retarded form of salad imaginable. Who puts fucking potato in a salad? It's supposed to be cooked, and preferably mashed or baked. You don't cut it up and pour sauce on it to make a side dish. Boourns.

Secondly, I hate, HATE cats. This should already be common knowledge for most of you. They're selfish, ungodly, spoilt, snobby creatures, that spend their days sleeping and eating other animals. I don't care if yours has a fucking bell on it. Chances are it has already learnt how to hunt at night without making it ring anyway. Yes, they are cute as kittens. But I'm pretty sure Hitler made a cute baby too.

Thirdly (man, I'm on a roll!), Death Note's ending. If you actually care what happens, I won't ruin it for you. Spoiler in black, bitches.

Yeah, way to fucking die, Light. I'm sure your dad's proud of you... NO WAIT, HE'S DEAD TOO. He should have shot you while he had the chance.

Lastly, but not least, I'm so sick of chain emails that it is no longer funny. I can't even laugh at the morons sending it to me anymore. It's reached a point where it's simply stupid and I can't stand it. The love of your life won't kiss you tomorrow if you send this email on! They might punch you in the face for being a complete gimp and not realising how much potential energy you're wasting that could have gone to something better than reading a dumb email and forwarding it. Gah, grow a brain.

Happy 19th Birthday Reo! One year off 20, woo...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Potato salads really suck don't they. They're always covered in that really weird white sauce. I HATE THAT WHITE SAUCE!!!! It covers all the really nice potato and lettuce-y bits that I actually like!
Hate cats too! They all furry and clawy *shudders* They always jump up on my lap and scare the bejesus out of me!!!!!
And as for your Nineteenth Birthday darlin' another year older, another year for your beauty and wit to grow more exponentially!
Wishin' you a mediocre birthday darlin'! At least then, anything you want will be better in comparison to my well wishes!!!!!! XD

Aleatz said...

The white sauce is one sucky component of the potato salad. But seriously, the potatoes don't make it taste any better.

Cats generally suck. I have met a few which were good, but mostly they're all arseholes. The only ones who disagree often own a cat and have their own bias opinion. Just because your cat doesn't scratch you doesn't mean it doesn't scrath others!

My birthday will be mediocre. It's on a Monday, psh. Thanks for the well wishes though. <3 (I won't deny the beauty and wit comment)

LizieVamp said...

Well how could you deny the beauty and wit comment? Both are such central components to your very being!!! It saddens me that anyone could think otherwise!!!... Dear God, I just realized I'm in danger of doing a Kim and putting "!!!" at the end of every sentence!!! XD There now, I shall endeavor to resist :p

Aleatz said...

No joke, I started doing that for an hour before realising I sounded like Kim and stopped. >.>