Aleatz Hates Reo

Aleatz Hates Personal Change

2009-10-15T22:46:00.001+11:00

Gee, I feel like I’ve turned into the stereotypical woman of late. Not only have I been buying clothes due to the majority of my wardrobe no longer fitting, I’ve also been doing a large portion of the family grocery shopping and cooking.

Maybe this is why there’s been no recently blog activity. WHOOPSIES?

Who cares. I’m getting back into ‘me’ mode, which can be considered good or bad depending on how you look at it. This entire year has been a focus on self-improvement and self-enlightenment- okay, the last one was a bit of BS, but there has definitely been some self-improvement. In the quest for a ‘better’ me there was a good amount of effort put into uni work [insert laugh] and health. However, personality-wise I feel as if I’ve turned into that grumpy, old hag down the street who no one likes (even her own son who she harasses on the phone despite him being her only form of human contact).

Fictional hag aside, I feel the blog is a good thing. Thus the entry. Hopefully it shall be followed with how much I hate Woolies and love Aldis. Damn, I hope I’m not seriously planning on writing an entry on shopping…

Aleatz Hates Awkward Silences

2009-08-08T23:47:00.001+10:00

What a fantabulous week. That's the word I've been using for anyone who's asked me how my week was. I'm back at university, tackling my 3rd year geophysics course with a new vigour! Last night I threw some mango bath salt in the tub and had a half hour soak while reading my slides and listening to the lecturer say 'Fourier's Analysis' over my speakers for the eleventh time... still not quite sure what it means, but at least I remember the phrase!

But you’re not here because you give a fuck about my boring life, so let’s sit around the fire and have a nice bitch about something.

I would bitch about Telstra, ACA, The Sims… But all those drafts are on my laptop which currently is in repair due to the none functioning backlight.

Oh, I know. Holiday list! What the hell did I actually do? Let’s tick some shit off it, shall we? (And thus we direct back to my boring life)

Got my haircut. There’s no actual photos of it on Facebook, so stop stalking me. The one up there is fake, if you couldn’t already pull your glasses close enough to your eyes to tell.
I wrote more on TWO stories, actually. Whether it adds up to 15 000, I’m not sure (due to non-functioning laptop mentioned earlier). I doubt I have, but who cares? I probably did more than you did in your holidays.
Bug Lizie… No. Lizie had to deal with enough crap over the last couple of months already.
Didn’t compose shit. I know. I’m as sad about it as you all are.
Cleaned room… Yes! But now it looks awful again. I suppose that’s the idea. To clean it when it gets dirty; not just once in a holiday period.
Book reading, no. I tried a few pages of Harry Potter but then gave up. I was at Nelson’s Bay, and the dolphins are way more amusing than an angsty wizard.
Video games… NO. Didn’t actually finish one, but I got close! I’ve almost finished Advance Wars, and I’ve done a few more chapters of Dawn, Trauma Centre and Apollo Justice.
Banner, no.
CD, NO.
TWEWY Set, NO- I mean, YES! Did that one! Phew. Almost made me sound really lazy.
Help mum… Kinda did this, but not for a solid week. My mum confuses me anyway. I think it worked out best, whatever happened.
Cooked 5 interesting things. Er… WELL. What did I make? I made lots of jelly with fruit in it (not really interesting). I also made this coconut stirfry thing I coined myself with cabbage, lemon and coconut cream. Also made chicken and plum sauce. What’s that add up too? 3?! Shit, is that all? Man…
Make one new wallpaper- NO!
Re-installed SOME of my missing programs. I sort of had to. You know, no laptop and all.
Sorted out uni. 3 days a week, FTW.
Visited the gym twice a week. YES. Did this one! Hell, I even have biceps now! Check it out! Oh… wait. Can you see me on this thing? No? Oh, that’s probably for the best.
Spend quality time with friends… Not as much as I would have liked. I need to do this. It’s driving me insane. Uni + Work = No social life.
I practised my flute for the Christmas thingy. Good effort, I saw.
Didn’t send postcards. Maybe I should round up the addresses first. That’s a good idea.
CAN’T AFFORD BOOZE! Seriously, I spent too much on uni already!
Clothes shopping, yep! Good to cross one more off.
Write one blog post a week… Er, whoops?

That’s about 10/22. Dang. Oh well, I did some of the things on it.

Aleatz Hates Extremist Feminists, ACA and a Lot of Other Shit

2009-07-25T00:23:00.001+10:00

I was going to write ‘feminism’, but quickly changed my mind after I felt the idea of equal rights women wasn’t really a bad one. No, it’s actually feminists (the extreme ones) where the problem lies. I’m not sure where to start this one, since it was probably a combination of a few recent (as in: when I wrote this draft, heh) events which stuck out, mostly this one:

Chaser Outrage

Curse those Chaser boys and their disgusting demonstration of abuse to women! I bet ACA was popping champagne the following week when the Chasers did their infamous “Make-a-Realistic-Wish Foundation” skit, because at least with that they didn’t have to disembowel the truth in order to make elderly viewers outraged. It only goes to show how someone’s ideals can easily be skewed by the media.

It’s pretty damn obvious to anyone watching that ‘report’ (if you’re going so far as to call it such) that what ACA was interpreting as ‘abuse to women’ was actually showing the irony of not allowing a female governor-general into a men’s club where all previous governor-generals were members. What is more ironic is that a stunt which could almost be described as having a pro-feminist stance was presented on ACA as being anti-feminist.

The random woman they roped into the report is probably the thing that pissed me off the most. Surely anyone with intelligence wouldn’t fall for ACA’s trick, would they? It makes me question some of the so called ‘feminists’ and the point they want everyone to understand. Sometimes people just get so angry/passionate about an issue that they end up neglecting all reasoning in their quest to impose their ideals on others.

Feminists who visit third world countries and try to help cultures adapt to a more equalitarian society are people I truly respect. Even those who fought for equality back when women didn’t have many of the rights they have today I respect (with the exception of Germaine Greer… she’s nuts. ‘Women should taste their own menstrual blood’, no thanks). However, the extremists like that chick and the ones who just go around bitching about men (and then wonder, 18 cats later, why they’re not married) just annoy me. We live in a first world country. We’ve been through waves of feminism, and come out practically on par with men. Men have to live with their stereotypes too.

‘Violence against women, Australia says “no”’. Shouldn’t it be violence against anyone? If a women beats up her husband, is that a-okay now? Sometimes I wonder whether all this so-called ‘feminism’ is actually helping the cause.

Aleatz Hates Dream Crushers

2009-07-21T00:04:00.001+10:00

Misleading title. The real one is supposed to be ‘Aleatz Hates Fad Diets’, but, you know… Dream crushers relates to everybody! And I’m in a very including mood right now (if that is a mood. Let’s see if Facebook thinks so).

Fad diets are a real crime of the modern world. They prey on the stupid and fat (or some who have a bit of both, like myself) and take their money, time and effort and transform it into Lamborghinis and palaces made of crystal… Okay, I made that stuff up, but the rest is true! Take a quick look at this site, which takes a humourous approach to fad diets:

http://www.faddiet.com/

I like the Chocolate Diet. Too bad it doesn’t actually contain that much chocolate.

After a browse at Westfield and seeing how much money can be made through books on fad diets I thought it might be a good idea to invent my own.

Aleatz’s ‘Put Down the Potato Chip or I’ll Shoot!’ Diet

Rules

You may only eat on days of the week starting with ‘T’ or ‘S’ and ending with ‘Y’. If you proceed to tell me that all the days of the week end with ‘Y’, I’ll proceed to make this diet harder to follow.
Any food which you can juggle may be eaten, but ONLY if you can eat it whilst juggling.
Any food with a funny name is off limits. This includes Horlicks, Chili Willy sauce, Spotted Dick or any type of assorted nuts.
If you can write and perform an original song about a food you may eat as much of it as you want at Christmas. (Just try NOT thinking about Christmas carols!)
If you have described a type of food as ‘favourite’ online, to friends or in any form of questionnaire or conversation then you may never eat that food again. EVER.
Exercise isn’t essential, but if you become my slave for a week you’ll be allowed to eat whatever you want. Even some sort of gelatin dish. It’s made from hooves, you know.
Spam is bad. Both on the net and in a can. Just don’t, people. Just don’t. If you do, you won’t get food for a year. The diet says so!
Once a month, fill your bath tub with one of the following: Oats, jelly, chocolate, milk, chocolate milk, chocolate milk oats, chocolate-milk-oat-flavoured jelly or canned spaghetti. Swim in the contents, and then reflect on what a pig you are. If you don’t turn bulimic after that, then… man… God knows I tried hard enough.

After six months on the PDTPCOIS diet, buy a pair of pants 14 sizes bigger than your pants at the time (I guarantee they won’t fit you!) and go up to strangers while wearing them outside your normal pants. They’ll be impressed. Proceed to direct them to this diet.

Man I’m good.

Point is, fad diets just crush people’s dreams. So, I don’t know… Go eat a sandwich or burn down the Health section in Borders. Just do something constructive for a change. Why must I do all the work?

Aleatz Hates Anime Conventions

2009-07-02T23:34:00.001+10:00

In keeping to my list with the weekly blog post (as you can see I’m stretching the weeks out a little) I decided to post this one… And in keeping to the ‘hates’ title, I obviously had to take a negative perspective of anime conventions. Obviously I don’t feel they’re overly negative, since I go to them and wouldn’t do so unless I enjoyed them. But yes, there’s much boourns to discuss. Beginning now!

They all sell the same crap. All of them. All Naruto, Death Note, Bleach etc. All wanky, over-priced items which you don’t really need, like plushies, key chains and mouse pads. It gets pretty tiring. Then you get the stalls which don’t take the innovative to reduce their normal retail prices at these annual events (I’m looking at you, EB).

Stalls like Madman have a wide selection, but similar stalls offering good value are scarce. Merchandise stalls, like I mentioned earlier, only offer items from the most popular animes (I suppose that’s not entirely their fault), and most of the items are poor quality for the prices charged.

Then you get the artist aisle, which is usually not too bad. They have their art on display and you wander over for a looksie, but POW! Every now and then you get one who’s trying to push their work onto you. NO I DON’T WANT TO READ YOUR COMIC BOOK! THE COVER DISTURBED ME ENOUGH, ALL RIGHT?! At least the artists making bookmarks with male characters making out on them have the decency to not force-sell you crap!

Sometimes you’ll be lucky and some stand will be giving out freebies. What, Australian Idol for PS2?! Who the hell thought that would sell? “Nevermind guys, just palm it off to walkers by.” A Gears of War necklace? HOW GENEROUS OF YOU EB!

There’s giving stuff out for free, and then there’s monkeys flinging faeces at your hair.

Oh, did I talk about the cosplayers yet? Clearly not. All I can say is, wow. I think they’re supposed to be compensation for the severe lack of real celebrities that we get here in Sydney. Because, seriously, who comes here? I mean, even Neville Longbottom cancelled. IF NEVILLE FREAKING LONGBOTTOM CANCELS, YOU KNOW SOMETHING’S WRONG. “But don’t worry, because we’ve still got Krum!” Oh la-de-da then. Fantastic. Lets all go see Victor Krum will he’s still memorable! Come on kids, you don’t want to miss this!

Jerks.

Aleatz Hates Filler (#3)

2009-06-18T23:04:00.001+10:00

So I’m making a list of things I’ll be doing in the holidays. Everyone can’t wait for the holidays, but as soon as they come people start bitching about how they get bored. That’s why I have planned ahead, making a comprehensive list of high priority activities which need doing, as well as some things that are just there because they’re good fun.

Getting a major hair cut: This one needs to be done, in more ways than one. I need a trim, for a start. But also, I’ve never had ‘short’ hair, so it shall be interesting.
Writing 15 000 words of my story: I’m up to 23 000, so I want to add an extra 15 000 to it. Sounds like a plan. I’m not sure I’ll get past 10 000, but we’ll see how it goes.
Bug Lizie to illustrate book cover and write up with blurb: Not really a big deal, but it gives me a chance to poke her with a stick! One of my favourite activities.
Composer/sequence one new composition on Sibelius.
Clean room: Oh God, yes. There’s dust settling on my dust collection.
Read at least one book: I’m aiming for 1984, but if I’m not in the mood to get that one (which could be the case) then I’ll resort to my unread David Gemmell books littering my bookshelf.
Finish at least one video game: Ones which look promising in this respect are Advance Wars (latest), Fire Emblem (Shadow Dragon, because IS is dyslectic and couldn’t just say ‘DS’), Fire Emblem (Dawn of Radiance), Rune Factory 2 (yeah, I think I might need more than a month), Harvest Moon DS (oh Muffy, how patient for me you have been!), Trauma Centre 2, yadda, yadda, yadda…
Create banner for SES: Yep. It’s on the friggin’ list!
Finish SES CD: So is this.
Make TWEWY set: And this as well.
Help mum for about a week: I couldn’t get out of this.
Cook 5 new interesting things.
Make one new wallpaper.
Re-install all my programs on my shitty desktop: Fucking virus.
Sort out uni courses and timetables for semester 2: If I don’t past Stat I will be pissed.
Visit the gym at least 2 times a week: Hahaha… Not likely!
Spend quality time with friends: Not on Sims though.
Practise flute for old people thing at Christmas… Yeah, I don’t even know anymore.
Send postcards to all my overseas pals: With some rock fragments in the envelopes so they know I care about them as much as rocks (which is not as much as people tend to think).
Stock up on booze for future ‘cocktail nights’: We shall see if my wallet lets me.
Go shopping for clothes: I can’t believe this is on a list. Hate shopping. Hate it.

Think this will fill up a month? I hope so. Oh, and:

Write one blog post a week.

You are all witness to this one!

Aleatz Hates Hats

2009-05-28T16:39:00.001+10:00

I didn’t hate hats until I came to university and realised how stupid they were. Generally speaking they’re quite practically. After all, who do you trust to keep the sun off your head? You could look like a dork and carry around an inconvenient umbrella OR you could be a kool kat and wear a hat:

Source: http://www.popculturepost.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/22stre6001.jpg

It seems that everyone in the joint is wearing a Fedora or a Trilby (I didn’t even know the difference until I wrote this thing). I know I lack fashion sense and whether people wear hats or not is nothing really important, but am I the only person who thinks they look stupid? Especially on an overcast day where the clouds are preparing for good drenching, why do you need a hat?

I realised the true craziness of it all when I saw one guy wearing a top hat.

Some argue that a hat is a good way to express yourself and form an identity. My opinion is that if you need a hat to create an identity for yourself then you don’t really deserve an identity. For crying out loud, man! Who wears a damn top hat outside a Victorian fancy dress party?! Are you an amateur magician?! HAS YOUR BUNNY SUFFOCATED YET?!

There’s one more excuse given for hats, something that goes a little like this:

“I wear it because my hair is so messy.”

Right. So you have a hat, but not a brush? Nice to see you earned your place in tertiary education well.

Aleatz Hates GIS

2009-04-30T20:57:00.001+10:00

Okay. This isn’t really important at all. Lizie made the request for more blogging action, and I’m just making it happen. That said, GIS is a bitch. What is GIS? Glad you asked. It stands for ‘Geographical Information Systems’, or alternatively ‘God’s Insufferable Shit’. Think I’m being a tad melodramatic? I don’t.

GIS, in summary, is sitting at a computer and imputing data in order to make maps. This wouldn’t be so bad if the data itself wasn’t so unidentifiable. It’s also helped by the fact that if you screw up there’s no way of knowing you’ve screwed up… So you continue following the steps, then BAM! You have a bunch of red crosses staring you in the face going ‘You are a moron because you screwed up something you did 2 hours ago and now you have to do 2 hours of work all over again! HAHAHA!’

But there’s more.

The oversized step-by-step course book given to you is riddled with typos and errors, just making it easier for you to give a file the wrong name and then wonder why you can’t find it 3 weeks later.

Finally you produce your pretty map of Sydney depicting population density, and then all of a sudden the program crashes because the computer it’s on just wasn’t built to hold so much excrement. You sit their crying, wondering why you didn’t save earlier. But then you remember that saving would have made all your stupid mistakes from earlier permanent!

People not taking this course wouldn’t really understand it. A girl in my class arrived an hour early for today’s 3 hour prac so she was positive she could leave on time. In the end something screwed up, even though she’d been following the instructions perfectly. Even the teacher couldn’t solve it.

SO. Four hours to produce nothing but anger and a red cross… She must know what it’s like to be Jewish! [Cue Chaser-style, half of audience laugh, other half sigh]

Only kidding. I don’t know how long it took the Jews.

Aleatz Hates Blatant Advertising

2009-04-20T16:53:00.001+10:00

I probably shouldn’t be writing this, as I have 3 assignments which are due next week. That said, I’ve been doing one of them all day, and with Last.FM on as I listen to music I couldn’t help but look at the artist ‘bio’ for 3OH!3 when ‘Don’t Trust Me’ came on.

Straight off the streets of Ballerado, 3OH!3 comes outta the gate with high-class rhymes, low-brow beats and more party than the Bolshevik revolution.
You don’t get more gangsta than Sean Foreman and Nathaniel Motte – two natives of Boulder, Colorado, the nation’s capital of hippies, hempwear and Hummers. Ever since they first connected over a mutual man-crush on Buck 65 in a University of Colorado physics class, 3OH!3 has been packing clubs and liberating libidos with their trademark blend of dirty synths and even dirtier come-ons.
Their live shows – spiked with spastic, synchronized dance moves – whip capacity crowds into a gang-sign-throwing, finger-licking frenzy. While keeping their tongues buried deep in their cheeks, Foreman and Motte drop sucker-punch vocals over hard-edged beats that are absolutely no joke.
On their Photo Finish Records debut, these homeboys crumble their crackers into a saucy stew of hip-hop hardness, electro eroticism and 80s pop pabulum. Imagine JJ Fad getting down with Justice, or DMX getting all Depeche Mode on your ass, and you might have a clue of the kind of sonic blasphemy 3OH!3’s bringing.
Recorded with noted producer Matt Squire - with extra booty juice ladled on by bassmaster Benny Blanco (Spank Rock, Bangers & Cash) on a few tracks - the boys’ latest slab of bacon comes on like a heart attack – cool and tingly at first, then a little frightening, and ending with a knockdown, drag-out bang. That might sound dangerous – and it is.
Foreman says, “It’s a lot like a math problem,” and we couldn’t agree more. Assuming that your arithmetic homework involves head-rattling wordplay, skronky electronic experimentation and bowel-loosening beats.
“They’re so banging, they’ll blow any sound system,” brags the boastful MC Foreman of the new tracks. Part of the banging is thanks to the unholy alliance between 3OH!3 and Squire, better known for his work with folks like Boys Like Girls and Panic at the Disco. Whoever said oil and water don’t mix never tasted a good vinaigrette. Describing the zesty mélange that came out of the collaboration, Foreman is never at a loss for a simile. “It’s like renting a movie with three different people at Blockbuster.”
Lest you think the 3OH!3’s rough edges will be smoothed out by the slick sliders of a platinum producer, rest assured that the Boulder boys are keeping it realer than Roswell.
“We want to capture some of that rawness from when we were recording in the shower.”
So if you’re ready for a bumping throw down at the hoedown, let 3OH!3 get the party started.

I’ve never read something so stupid in my life. I don’t think it’s possible for more emotional jargon to be shoved into this biography. Instead of doing something most artists on Last.FM which is having the name of the members, year and location of formation and the basic stuff in simple English, some arse (probably their manager) decides to put up a shitastic description littered with words like ‘outta’ and ‘gangsta’. ‘Bowel-loosening beats’, huh? Does that mean it’s shit?

Hawthorne Heights has a similar crappy bio too, however theirs isn’t such a blatant form of advertising. However, the fact that someone wrote 'Hawthorne Heights became the face of a whole new generation of music fans’ still scares me a little.

Aleatz Hates Shitty Anime Devices

2009-04-16T21:28:00.001+10:00

If I see another ‘serious’ male character push his glasses back with his index finger while making some serious remark, I swear I will burn down an orphanage.

There’s so many great plots and artwork out there… But then some fucktard thinks it’s a great idea to do the same thing EVERYONE ELSE DOES and make their character wear glasses and be constantly pushing them back up their nose!

NO. YOU ARE RUINING YOUR OWN WORK. STOP DOING IT.

It’s almost as annoying as 99% of the anime intros which suck balls because they go for 90 seconds and have every character standing on a hilltop with the wind blowing through their friggin’ hair while the camera keeps moving like it’s attached to a hand-glider.

I think my favourite anime intro was probably Soul Eater, even though it sticks to the cliché. The song is so good and the art is so shinny it doesn’t seem to matter.

Endings aren’t usually any better, because it’s always some cutesy, different art style being used for some variety… BUT EVERY ARTIST DOES IT. (See Black Cat, FMA: Brotherhood, yadda yadda yadda…) Then they add some chirpy song to it and they’re a carbon copy of everyone else’s ending.

Oh, did I mention official art? I personally would enjoy seeing more beautifully rendered scenes from the anime/manga then all of the characters posing in various outfits OVER and OVER and OVER AGAIN. It’s good for a half a book, gentlemen! But then it just gets old.

Ok. I’m done with the rant. Now time to burn down an orphanage.

Aleatz Hates Easter

2009-04-16T21:06:00.001+10:00

Serious question: What does chocolate have to do with Jesus?

After exploring the origins of the modern Easter I discovered that the answer was quite simple: Not a shitload.

It’s just another example of how the Christian religion got low on ideas and decided to take something from the Pagans… A lot like Christmas! (…Because we all know shepherds don’t camp in the fields in the middle of friggin’ winter.)

So now I’m struggling to figure out who I should thank for the origins of Darrell Lea’s Nougat Egg/Christmas Pudding (they’re the same thing, only in a different package at a different time of the year).

That’s it. From now on I’m worshipping Darrell Lea at Easter!

Aleatz Hates Dragonball Evolution

2009-03-24T20:22:00.000+11:00

Chow Yun-Fat looks like he's lost in a sea of excrement. That's probably closer to the truth then we'd like to believe.

[spoiler]

OKAY. Here’s the entire story. Goku is a 17/18 year old, white boy who goes to high school and gets picked on by all the ‘popular’ guys and called ‘Geek-u’ or some shit. He wants to bang Chi Chi, the pretty Asian chick, but he has no balls (despite the movie title this doesn’t really change throughout the film). Then he goes against his grandpa’s wishes by picking a fight with the guys at school and kicks all their arses without touching them. Suddenly Chi Chi is all over him like crumbs on a blanket.

Piccolo kills his grandpa, steals his dragonball, yadda, yadda, yadda, barf. Goku swears revenge. Meets Bulma. Barely any character introduction, but we’ll live. There’s too much to fit into the 80 minute time slot.

Master Roshi is Chow Yun-Fat, so that just shows that casting went out the window. They meet up and go searching for the other dragonballs before Piccolo gets them… Etc. They meet Yamcha. Stuff happens. Goku learns the Kamehameha in one night. Implied romance between him and Chi Chi. Piccolo’s shapeshifting henchlady, Mai, turns into Chi Chi and there’s a fight scene or something and she steals their dragonballs… More stuff happens.

The final conflict with Piccolo occurs after about an hour of suffering. He and Roshi fight. Goku learns he is actually Oozaru. Goku chucks a tanty and turns into Oozaru and kills Roshi, even though Piccolo has basically already killed him. Goku turns back to normal then destroys Piccolo or whatever. Then he uses the dragonballs to bring Roshi back to life. Yadda, yadda, yadda, end.

[/spoiler]

Don’t watch it. Don’t consider watching it. Don’t stare at the movie poster for more than 2 seconds. It is crap. The acting sucks. The writing is terrible. The casting is sickening. It has little to do with Dragonball. It’s almost as if Fox doesn’t like success.

People bitch about the series, but at least that had entertainment value. I’m not even sure whether this was one of those ‘So bad it was hilarious’ movies, because I sniggered once while watching it and I’m pretty sure it was because Lizie was begging for the link.

I knew it would be crap. But seriously… Fox. That 100 million could have been given to starving kids in Africa! I hope you lose on this you bastards.

Aleatz Hates Kid Rock

2009-03-22T12:41:00.003+11:00

Wow. This place is empty!

Ok, so where do I start? I think it was on one of my drives to uni where I saw a car with a stupid number plate on the back saying 'Kid Rock'. That's when I realised the world was stupid. Not just because 'All Summer Long' was a #1 hit in numerous countries, but because there was someone out there with a number plate with his name on it.

I don't really know much about Kid Rock to be honest. In fact, I can't even remember any of his songs. Only 'All Summer Long'. I wouldn't have even considered him hate-worthy were it not for that craptastic piece of shite. He took one of the most repetitive songs in the world (seriously... 3 chords over and over again), changed the lyrics, had some backing vocalists put in, yadda, yadda, yadda... Suddenly it is the "biggest hit of his career" (that should be a good indication of how great the rest of his music is). Then some chick puts a number plate with his name on it on the back of her car.

Did I mention he got awards and critical exclaim for it? I'm seriously concerned about the state of the modern music industry.

Aleatz Hates Chick Flicks

2009-01-20T00:10:00.002+11:00

So, yesterday I saw two movies. The first was 'John Tucker Must Die', which apparently is a great movie or something. The other (kinda by accident) was 'Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb'. For all of those who've never heard of that one, here's a small Simpsons parody that might jog your memory:

'Dr Strangelove' made me realise what a good movie was supposed to be. The fact that the movie was 40 years old didn't even seem to matter, because it was still exceptionally hilarious. Such an awesome satire. After watching it I thought 'Wow, how could something like this be produced in the 60s in the US?!' Then I saw the credits and noticed it was all filmed in England. Highly surprising... but not really. If the British are good at anything, it's comedy.

Now, 'John Tucker Must Die'... It was meh. This seemed to remind me of previous chick flicks and how they have a general trend of being terrible. Sometimes you can be in the mood for a good chick flick, but when there are only so many hours in a day I can't understand why a person would go to the cinema twice in order to see something like John Tucker.

'This story is about John Tucker.'

Who cares?

Seriously. This movie uses every high school stereotype it can in order to not develop interesting characters. None of it is particularly funny... How does this qualify as a good movie?

Everyone, go and watch 'Dr Strangelove' before your life is over from watching too many shit movies.

Aleatz Hates Sasuke (Revisited)

2009-01-03T14:35:00.007+11:00

Holy crap. I almost feel like taking back every good thing I've said about the Naruto series. Not because of the series itself, or even (to a certain extent) the characters in the series, but the large amount of fans who post indecipherable comments in relation to a rather short, crappy article I wrote about a fictional character.

Half the reason Sasuke sucks so bad is because of you.

If he didn't have a hoard of whiny fangirls defending him with their shitty comments he wouldn't suck more than a straw in melted ice cream. Do you think the people who have written proper comments in relation to that article didn't realise that Sasuke is a fictional character? Then why must you repetitively point it out to them?! Hell, why must you even need to defend him if he is fictional?!

One of the most common comments in defence of Sasuke's shitty personality is 'Sasuke's entire clan was killed by his brother and he saw it and that's why he's the way he is'. (Just imagine that with less grammar and incorrect spelling.)

Anime is filled with characters with traumatic pasts. Orphans, survivors of genocide/wars, etc. etc. barf. It is one of the major clichés of anime. Doesn't mean I can't point and laugh at a character now, does it? Doesn't mean the character has to be a complete douche. And an uninteresting douche at that.

But yeah, I don't understand why the majority of the hits/comments for this blog are based on the Sasuke page. Naruto isn't even a series worth fanboying. So, here's my final point in summary. I've even included pretty images for the people who still don't get it:

If you feel the urge to comment, go ahead. But be warned that I'm going to read comments as they are written. So if you can't spell 'you' with the two first letters then I'm sure we won't be getting far.

Now get off my lawn!

Aleatz Hates Christmas

2008-12-22T16:17:00.003+11:00

Bah humbug.

I would like Christmas a bit more if it was a bit like the 'traditional' Christmas for me. Haven't had a Christmas tree in the house for almost a decade. Here in Oz we also have the luxury of a nice, warm summer. Doesn't even snow here in winter though, so I don't even know what I'm after. Also, my mum wanted me to go out and buy the Christmas present she was giving me... Kinda ruins the idea.

I'd love to say that none of that matters, and all that matters is the concept, but it's completely lost on my family. Over-glorified presents to the family members every year... Even when my mum's side of the family agreed to do a Secret Santa style present giving scenario one year (because otherwise it gets pretty expensive for those on a pension) my mum butchered it by getting every family member 'a little something' that they probably felt guilty in receiving because they had nothing planned for her because they thought they weren't supposed to.

Well, enough about that. Although polishing silver and working it my parent's shop for the last few days has dampened my holiday cheer, I can safely say I have it good. The fact that I'm type this now is proof enough of that. Even when I feel like taking a leaf from Mr Garrison's book and singing a not-too-pleasant Christmas song sometimes, I bounce back a few seconds later. So from me:

Now go and eat some puddin'. Make sure to drown it in brandy custard. And if I don't update before New Year's, I hope you have a good one. I, however, am working!

Grin through the pain...

Aleatz Hates Censorship

2008-12-04T18:31:00.003+11:00

I don't usually do this (and I doubt doing this will have much of an impact) but I felt inclined to post this:

What internet censorship will mean for Australians:

Slower internet speeds, even when the filler isn't used.
The blocking of R+ material, meaning movies, games, etc.
Control over what content is displayed.

I understand the government's aims, but the reality is that the internet is an entirely different beast to movies, television and all of that. Blocking 'inappropriate content' will be unbelievably impractical, and I think they just shouldn't bother. It'll just be another governmental cock-up. Plus, you know, I don't want them to decide what content I should to view. For all I know they could block one of my favourite anime shows and then I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Yeah, just a tad dramatic there.

Oh, and I'm leaving for (the flooded) Tamworth on Saturday. Looking at rocks shall be fun! No net activity for a week. [insert smiles] Pull out your sniper, God, and aim for my shiny forehead.

Aleatz Hates Australia (Movie)

2008-11-27T22:41:00.006+11:00

Eh, this is definitely a sarcastic one. Because I enjoyed the movie tremendously. Despite the fact that I know it's one big tourism ad for Australia. We all have to bite our tongues sometimes in this world, because money just has such a big part to play that you need to be a bit immune to it (otherwise you become a pessimist who hates everything).

I hated the fact that David Wenham (known for his role as Faramir in the Lord of the Rings Trilogy) got to be the villain, overloaded with a ton of cliched dialogue. That made me sad, because he's a great actor. All of my friends and I in the back row laughed everytime he stopped after one of his lines with a long, dramatic pause. We were the only ones who did.

And move over Bindi Irwin! Brandon Walters, who plays 'Nullah' (an aboriginal boy half-cast boy), is the new child face of Australia. He was frigging adorable. Plus it was his first film, and he had no acting experience before Baz decided he wanted him (can you blame ol' Baz?). And he apparently had never heard of Hugh Jackman or Nicole Kidman before. Ha ha... Hilarious!

Brandon Walters riding a horse. Aren't they adorable?
Source: http://www.abc.net.au/reslib/200704/r138534_473231.jpg

After the first half of the movie (which could be a movie in it's own right) Hugh and Nicole don't really have any dialogue together anymore. All they do is pash, have awkward silences and do the occasional sex scene. It was pretty lame.

Final comments? This was basically the Australian version of the Titanic. A lot of money was spent on this long film, and although it is 'epic' it really is that cliched kind of epic we've seen too many times before. There are a lot of funny moments, exciting moments and all of that, but they back it up with so much predictable things, lame dialogue and Hollywood-style backdrops. If you can tolerate that kind of thing I think you'll find it to be a good movie.

Aleatz Hates Exams (but loves when they're over)

2008-11-26T23:50:00.004+11:00

Don't be fooled by the title. This entry is filler! To all of you who are new to email list, bitch to me if you want to be off it. I won't hesitate to remove your ungrateful face off it.

So my last exam was today. Tomorrow I'm going to see Australia. The movie, not the country (that was a running joke at work tonight. You don't have to laugh just because they did). So, I might end up writing an entry on how I hated it (or sarcastically saying I hate it when I actually love it. I do that a lot). Truth be told I've never seen a Baz film that I've adored. I thought they were all pretty average. Of course, all of us are amateur critics, so none of us really have the right to talk unless we're being paid. Ha ha...

I suppose I should say something about exams now, seeing as that's the title. Um, 2 were shit? 2 were good. 1 was average. I figure if I end up breaking even I'll be all set! Three of them were on three days in a row, which was shocking, seeing as the two shit ones were on right after the other. Everyone is jealous of me because I finished my exams early in the week, but no one realises how much I died in the Monday exam. Apparently the biology exam got cancelled half-way through because the fire alarm went off and the building got evacuated. Now they have to do it next Tuesday. Sucks to be them!

So, two of my exams were about geology. The first one (which was shit) involved a massive section where you identified rocks and named their characteristics. I was tempted to write 'This rock is harder than the steel nail, so it'd be good for throwing at someone I don't like', but I decided against it since I needed every mark I could find. Other temptations included 'This rock is porous, so it'll be good for sticking up someone's nose to stop bleeding' and 'This rock is shiny!'

On another note, I'm going to Tamworth in the country next week to look at MORE rocks! It's almost as if my uni break was striving to be shitastic all on it's lonesome! People in my classes are apparently smuggling some alcohol up there, but I don't see much point in drinking on a uni course. All it'll do is make you crap for the mornings when they want you to get up at 6am so you don't miss the rocks.

Some plutonic rocks go into hibernation after 7am, didn't you know? ...Don't lie and say you did.

Aleatz Hates Fillers (#2)

2008-11-11T19:26:00.005+11:00

Note to all of you who receive emails: I'm altering the email list soon. If you enjoy getting email updates please email me and tell me to continue sending them to you. If not, well... Your loss!

I just feel like a random rant right now. I can't really justify why. I suppose I have time to 'spare' (a.k.a. no assignment due tomorrow), but I'm tired after today so I can't stay on one topic.

Regular visitors of the interwebz would be familiar with commenting (such as on blogs, HMM??) and I couldn't help but get ticked off by the numerous people who, being the first to comment, write 'Zomg first comment!' then nothing after it... It has got to be the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life. Do people not get the point of commenting? You're supposed to talk about the thing the comment box is under, not say how you're the first to comment as if it's some amazing accomplishment that no moron could do. Oh, and then doing a second post with the comment. Haha... Weren't you supposed to say 'ZOMG 2ND COMMENT!!!11!'? Because there's no point in breaking a moronic trend. It makes it less funny for the rest of us.

Anyway, I did my Isys practical exam today. Which I aced. I'm not usually that confident for an exam, infact I usually come out of them thinking I've failed. But this was simple 'how i typ in word?' crap. Then when someone in the room said 'What do they mean by "Print Screen"?' I thought 'Yep, it's in the bag'. Although, print screen is a legitimate thing not to know about. If you're not into computers then it makes sense that you wouldn't use it. Kind of like 'Find...', eh Dom?

Anyway, FINALS NEXT WEEK! Holy shit this year went fast! I can't believe it. Even though I went to Europe and worked and had uni... It all just disappeared. It doesn't feel like I've learnt all that much either. I know a bit about rocks now... But that doesn't feel all too significant. I'm enjoying my non-geology courses, like Global Studies and Information Systems, because they're a change of pace, you know? Global Studies has been my absolute favourite, even though there's a lot of essays involved.

[/filler]

Aleatz Hates Stupid Ideologies

2008-11-05T22:01:00.012+11:00

Source: I don't fucking know. It was sent to me by Plague and I can't remember the URL, so if you're really keen on finding it then go and hunt for it.

I know by now many people are either celebrating or complaining about Obama's victory in the US presidential election right now. If you read this entire blog entry you probably won't need me to tell you how I feel about it, since I'll make my stance pretty obvious. While doing my fabulous geology assignment (because rocks are boring) I felt the urge to explore a particular ideology that was discussed leading up to the election, but still slightly baffles me. The idea that socialism is evil.

Now please, don't jump the gun on me. I wouldn't describe myself as a 'socialist'. However I'm really unsure what to describe myself as. Socialism seems to be where I lean most, along with my liberal ideals. But still I feel that socialism is a strategy which should be used in certain circumstances, and shouldn't become a universal policy. I feel much the same way about capitalism and communism. They all have their pros and cons, but it's up to people to recognise these and understand what situations they should be applied to.

John McCain used 'Joe the Plumber' as a representation of the 'American Dream', which relies on the concept of capitalism to insure a person has the freedom to choose the role they serve in society and what they can spend their income on. Upon hearing that Obama wanted to 'spread the wealth around', McCain supporters booed and jeered, while I sat it my seat thinking 'that doesn't sound like a bad idea'.

So, what is wrong with spreading the wealth? Well, it's very much a case of forced charity, where someone unwillingly (because of the law) gives someone a fraction of their wealth without the other person 'earning' it. In Walter Williams' article (see below) he compares social security to thievery, and believes God would oppose such forced acts of charity. His argument is that people should have the right to choose whether or not to give their hard earned dollars to another person, or more specifically who that person might be.

I can see the logic... To a degree. However, humans are greedy, selfish creatures. Even those 'under' God. What we can't see or feel we rarely ever care about, unless it is emotionally pushed upon us by a charity ad or a Salvation Army officer. That's why I believe we need a system which acts as a Robin Hood-type character... Evenly distributing wealth to those people who never got the same opportunities as those with wealth. No singular person can determine where money is needed most, and most people have no clue about many problems which impact society. A government; a collection of people elected to create cohesion, is a far better option in creating equality.

In R. G. Price's rebuttle to Williams' article he jokes about the idea that socialism is damaging to a prosperious economy, and instead argues that it has helped create the middle-class; a class many people take pride in being in because it symbolises prosperity and equality, but not gluttony.

Another opinion pressed by Raphael Kaplinsky in one of his articles is that globalisation and capitalism are unsustainable practises and the cause of great inequality and environmental degradation in this world. I must admit I can see the link here. Personally I believe that while people have the option of consuming more they will often take that option. Again, this links back to greed and simple human desires. We'd rather a Ferrari than a Toyota because it's better, not because the Toyota prevents us from getting to A to B and the Ferrari doesn't.

If we want change we will have to impliment slow changes to limit consumption of not just fuels, but food and materials. Fast changes will cause outroar for all those who live a stable or high-end lifestyle and wish to keep it. Currently the technologies are not readily available to create sustainable development right around the world.

Is socialism evil? Is socialised health care the work of the devil? Is a country one step away from communism if they support socialism? I doubt it. I think people can get paranoid about just about anything, and when someone's threatening to apply a higher tax to someone who can afford it more than the starving man, any excuse will do.

Wanna read some opinions? Of course you do:

Socialism is Evil (#1) ~ Walter E. Williams
http://www.gmu.edu/departments/economics/wew/articles/04/socialism.html
Socialism is Evil (#2) ~ Walter E. Williams
http://www.gmu.edu/departments/economics/wew/articles/04/socialism2.html

Rebuttal to Walter Williams' "Socialism is Evil" ~ R. G. Price
http://rationalrevolution.net/articles/rebuttal_to_walter_williams.htm

Globalization, Poverty and Inequality ~ Raphael Kaplinsky
http://www.polity.co.uk/book.asp?ref=9780745635538

P.S. Sorry this wasn't my usual comedic rant. Not that I should apologise since no one reads these things anyway! (Except that shitty Sasuke entry...)

Aleatz Hates Monies (#1)

2008-10-20T00:00:00.005+11:00

Please forgive me for this horrid animation. It seemed good in theory, but now it looks shit. Episode 2 will actually be funny, although by the time I post it I probably won't think that. And just so you know, I intend to write a bunch of random crap after I post one of these things. Just a warning.

This is the time of the year when a bunch of stuff hits the fan. Exams, finances, Xmas prep... You know what I mean, right? Surprisingly, for once in my life I'm actually managing things pretty well. I'm not procrastinating much with certain things... Perhaps I'm growing up? I sure hope so. About time my brain caught up to my chest.

That said, I don't seem to have enough focus for a solid 'one topic only' blog post, so I won't make one. Not now anyway. I feel inclined to do a MASSIVE post on Jesus Camp [link] and how stupid fundamentalism is, but we can save that for another day (month).

Dom got me hooked on Birds of Tokyo. If you feel like some new grooves I suggest you check them out. I promise you won't be disappointed (note: not an actual promise). I've also (this one is actually pathetic) been hooked on Code Geass, that crappy anime that doesn't know whether it's a mecha or a drama. I suppose all mechas are dramas when it comes down to it. However this is far more drama than I expected. It's like Death Note (actually, it's so similar to Death Note that I had to check the title to see if I wasn't watching a 'future' based Death Note series), so this means I already know what's going to happen. Yay for me.

Oh, and I'm going for my green Ps on Wednesday. I don't really care... There's not much of a difference between a P1 and P2 license anyway. I still won't be able to have any alcohol before driving, which means my staff drink shall continue to 'go to waste' (as said by Craig) on cranberry juice and lemon, lime and bitters (although bitters is actually alcoholic, but if anyone asks I didn't actually know that).

Aleatz Hates US Comedy Remakes

2008-10-08T21:41:00.005+11:00

That's right. They're actually showing the US production of Kath & Kim tomorrow on NBC, then on Sunday in Australia.

http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=642819

Although I didn't even have to see it to know it would be awful, here's a little preview for all those who allocated time to this shitty remake (I sure hope no one actually did).

Yeah, it was Australia's #1 show until you fucked with it. You even pulled Sharon out. Now it's a pile of roting garbage. (Actually, Chasers is better, but surely American producers wouldn't be stupid enough to make an US version... would they?) No one in the US will even touch the Aussie version now, thanks to this shit.

The argument for creating this crime against humanity was that Americans wouldn't get Australian humour/jokes. This must have also been the divine logic behind the tragedy which was the US remake of Red Dwarf. Now I know how it feels to see my culture warped.

Well Yankees? Do you get this?:

If not, then maybe they just should have never put Kath & Kim on in America in the first place. The show was good because of its satirical representation of middle class Australia. Now the US has cocked up and served out a shitty sitcom which is just like all their other shitty sitcoms... Hell, it's so crap that it's even worse. I sure hope Jane and Gina have learnt their lesson.

And another note...

DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH BLACK BOOKS, OR THERE WILL BE PAIN!

Aleatz Hates Emos

2008-10-02T22:34:00.005+10:00

It appears that updating has become a monthly phenomenon...

Anyway, so I just accidentally deleted my ISYS assignment. I'm a little pissed. It wasn't anything long or hard, but I'd basically finished it and my computer has a different version of Excel to those at uni so it's just going to be a bitch to do now. Right, now that that's off my chest I'll go onto the main article.

It was in high school that the term 'emo' was first introduced to me, and I remember that for a few years after I still had no clue what it really meant. Randomly and recently I decided to look it up on the internet, because although I 'know' what the term means I was curious to know what people who fitted into the emo subculture actually thought it was.

You know when you go on an insightful journey and then find out that there wasn't anything too insightful to begin with? No? Well I suppose it doesn't happen too often. I don't know why I expected there to be anything insightful about such a crappy mainstream subculture, but I hoped that people who were involved would have enough brains to describe their culture as something more than the vague and dumb image I had developed over the last few years.

Source from http://www.luv-emo.com/

The term for the teenagers who listen emocore is emo kids. The society thinks about them as failures; they are not strong enough to hide their emotions, they're sensitive, shy, introverted, and often quiet. Usually, Emo kids like to express their feeling writing poems about their problems with depression, confusion, and anger; all because the world fails to understand them. Emo poetry uses a combination of any of: a highly emotional tone, stream of consciousness writing, a simple (ABAB) or nonexistent rhyme scheme, references to the flesh, especially the heart, heavy use of dark or depressing adjectives, and concern over the mutability of time, love or both. Themes such as life is pain are common. You can check some 'emo poems' on our forum! Altough life is already very hard for them, emo kids have to suffer for even more society prosecution because of their condition. The term 'emo' itself is used nowadays as an insult. Adressed to a person means they are 'overly emotional'. Emocore is compared with pop boy bands of 1990s. Critics cast the music as lacking any artistic merit and that the fashion is just ... a fashion used to drive girls attention. The ones who are emo not because they feel it, but because they like to be trendy are named 'posers'. A big percent of the current emo subculture is formed by posers. Emo subculture is acused that it is celebrating self-harm. As i've said before many fail to understand that those are only fake emos (rawrr you bastards, get away from here); actually i have no rights to judge them even if most of us suffer because of them.

I've bolded all the parts which made me crack into hysterics. The main part which makes me laugh is the concept of suffering and how it's used in this description in particular.

Amyler thinks I use Kenya as a solution to all my problems. Damn right I do. But I can substitute it for another African country like Rwanda if I want, because I'm pretty sure sending any of these whiny arseholes out of a first world country would stop them from bitching about 'suffering'. Suffering is when someone actually has to live through some sort of traumatic experience. How is suffering linked to people incorrectly using your subculture? Who gives a shit if they listen to similar music as you and feel the urge to call themselves emo or whatever?

I don't. But then again, I'm not an emo and I haven't really suffered through society's prosecution or however you describe it. Then again, I've never described myself as suffering, so I don't feel like a hypocrite.

I'd like to make some points which might never be read by anyone, let alone the webmaster of luv-emo, but I'll write them because this is how I get my kicks after deleting my assignment.

Judging by your forums and everything, it appears there's plenty of emos out there... I'm sure these spoilt brats (and that is what they are) can find emo friends close to them to gain friendships.
I'm presuming that the ratio of disability and all that is similar to the average person, so I guess they're not stuck on getting a job (unless you include mental aspects, in which they're pretty much screwed).
Based on the two forementioned points you have nothing to bitch about. I could stop here but I'll just keep going.
Your subculture and music genre was probably coined by some sly music producers and artists who are now rolling in dough because now they have an automatic fanbase who basically listens to music and writes poems as their main hobbies.
There are people out there who suffer from depression, abuse and all the excuses that you use to complain about your life who don't bitch about it on a daily basis and don't feel the need to join a generic subculture which has no individuality.
First sentence contradicts the fourth last sentence. 'Emo kids' are described as teenagers who listen to emocore, but apparently to be emo you need to 'feel it'... WTF? A serious WTF. First listening to a particular genre of music makes you emo, then you have to feel something that only the cheerleaders from Bring It On would know about to be a real emo. It's all full of bullshit.

Am I generalising much? Probably. But emos brought it upon themselves with their crappy websites, music, fashion sense and personalities. Besides, I didn't realise that you could classify someone's entire personality based on the music they listened to. You learn something every day.

PS: I was trying to find the part in Skins where Chris is sitting with the emo kids at a party, but I couldn't. Instead, here's him trying to sell a cup of tea. Enjoy!

Aleatz Hates Bleach

2008-09-07T23:04:00.003+10:00

Source: http://www.vgcats.com/. The best representation of Bleach on the web. For a real life representation, take your dog for a walk.

When discussing Bleach to those who watch the series religiously, I put forward the impression that I don't like the show because it drags a fair bit. Most respond by asking where I'm up to, and after I explain further they reply with something along the lines of:

“Oh. Well, that's a boring bit, obviously. You should skip the next 20 episodes till you get to the next arc, because that's good. Also, you might want to just forget the section after that, since most of that's filler... blah, blah, blah, bleh, bleh, blah...”

How about this all of you Bleach fans. NO. Fuck no. I've tried watching it, and I'm not doing it. You know the reason why people don't drink bleach? Because it makes you vomit. The same could almost be said about the way this show seems to consume people's time, even though they realise they're watching something which isn't that good.

What is so great about Bleach? Fight scenes? Psh. They're alright, but I'm not waiting 10 episodes just to get to a good fight scene. Or, alternatively, sitting through a fight scene which contains about 10 minutes of pointless dialogue. What does Bleach think it is, Dragon Ball Z? I also noticed a shitload of running. Most of it contained dialogue, but none of it was any good. In fact there's not really any good dialogue in the entire show. So I'm almost at a loss as to why people still watch it.

Your common household detergent currently contains 187 episodes of shit. Wolf's Rain (one of my favourites) has 30 episodes in total, with 2-3 being fillers. Full Metal Alchemist has 51, plus a movie. Trinity Blood has 24. Trigun has 26.

So tell me why Bleach needs 187 episodes to be good? The answer is astoundingly simple. It isn't good, therefore it needs a million more episodes to make up for the fact that the people making it don't know how to summarise. Somehow quantity prevails once again over quality.

You know what's even more disturbing? The anime is supposedly better than the manga! God, the manga must be complete shite then. The only show I've come to hate more than Bleach is Inuyasha, and that's basically because they're so similar. They both have a ton of episodes, a disgruntled protagonist who carries an oversized sword, and a bunch of creators rolling around in the money which is spent to purchase all the DVDs and manga books which come with these shitty shows.

So can someone please tell me what's the appeal of this show? Or is it like cigarettes? Only the users know...

Aleatz Hates Dick Masterson

2008-08-23T23:35:00.005+10:00

It's not often that you get douches who are proud of being a douche, but sometimes on shows like Dr Phil, it happens:

Now, for all those interested in visiting Dick's website (no, I wasn't trying to make an obvious pun, but now I am) here it is in all its glory:

http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com

Gee, he's the king of subtly. His site even likes to mention that women cannot access it (because clearly his site blocked Reo's computer), and he's included a link to his glorious book. No, he's definitely not after money. For everyone's personal enjoyment I've decided to look through his site, and not necessarily defend women (because I believe a good portion could outsmart this douche anyway), but explain why Dick Masterson is infact, a dick.

By hiring a man over a woman, you are not only getting a more qualified, more competent, less smelly employee, you’re also lowering your chances of being sued for providing a hostile work environment to zero.

'Less smelly'? What the hell... What kind of crappy language technique is that? The technique which involves you sounding like a five year old to get sympathy because you're a complete retard? Besides, last time I checked, men sued people for pointless things as well. Pointing out a place where suing occurs does not score you any brownie points.

Marriage is fucked and stupid and the second fastest way any young man can ruin his life. The first fastest way is by having a child. Try folding an index card in half twenty times. That’s how hard it is to find beer money or a blowjob in the budget once you’ve got a kid.

Nice to see you like the idea of procreation, jackarse. Why not build a time machine and give that amazing advice to your dad and see how far you get.

Look closely at the above picture and see if you can find my addition to a memorial constructed in honor of North Hollywood’s most accomplished daughter, Amelia Earhart. Most accomplished daughter, that is, who didn’t use her vagina to earn her place in the books.
Real female accomplishment takes the form of Melinda Gates, Hillary Clinton, or Paris Hilton. No one paid $49.95 to see Paris Hilton read a map. Melinda Gates isn’t worth billions because she dreamed up Microsoft Bob. Women accomplish with their cunts, not their brains.

Yeah, I'm sure all of the sex tapes Paris made are the reason why she's loaded now... Oh, wait... Could it be because she was born into a rich family? I know this isn't really helping my poor excuse for an argument against you, Dick, but the fact that Paris is a cunt and rich for reasons not contributed by her is a reason why you don't use her as an example you arrogant jackarse. Paris Hilton has accomplished nothing. Hillary Clinton is running for an election in a country which has people like you in it. So obviously they're great examples.

Dick Masteron’s Guide to Life
1. Shut up.
2. Get the job done.

Yes. Thanks Dick. I suppose this is why you decided to make a living off a website where the whole point is for you to give shitty examples of women who don't even match up to the awful points you're trying to make. I'm also sure that people buying your shitty stickers is going to 'get the job done'. Get a real job, Dick. You'd better hope being an arsehole is an occupation by the time you have to actually support yourself when all the idiots who support your book run out of money from being retarded.

If women have to present themselves in a form that doesn’t involve either straps, no-straps, or a small amount of Scotch tape for purposes of false advertising, then they completely fuck it up. Men are like chameleons when it comes to presenting ourselves. You could take James Bond and drop him off on a farm in the middle of Iowa, and if you turned your back for even like a second, he would blend in like toothpaste in the holes on the walls of my first apartment. That’s called presentation skills.

I almost feel like telling Dick that James Bond is a fictional character. Almost... I'm sure James Bond would get that farm job too, because clearly that's another example which is a piece of shit. God, who pays for your abomination to be hosted?

No woman ever made her own resume. I swear to God this is true. They’ve all had a man do it for them. Go find a woman and ask. I fucking guarantee that if you press hard enough (which you should always do with women), you will get the following answer.

JESUS CHRIST, DICK! YOU MUST BE RIGHT! Just because Reo typed her resume up on her computer, printed it out, and got a job with it, MUST MEAN A MAN WROTE IT! You're a man of wisdom, Dick. Good to see you're living up to your name.

Yeah, I'm finished with degrading this arsehole. I could spend a whole day reading through his website and picking it to pieces, but I won't because this man doesn't deserve to be seen as a bigger loser than he already is. I'd read his book just so I could type up an email and insult him further, but he's already made it clear he doesn't like dealing with people who can formulate arguments superior to his.

On a happier note... Congratulations to Matthew Mitchem for winning gold and stopping China's diving streak. Well done.

Aleatz Hates Birthdays

2008-08-17T21:22:00.003+10:00

In less than 3 hours it will be Reo's 19th birthday, resulting in potential gifts, random people who don't even care about her saying 'happy birthday' and a whole variety of traditional-bogus-rubbish. Candles, cakes, balloons, line dancing... Why do birthdays bring the worst out of everyone? Do people drink in order to forget these annual ordeals? I think they might. Hell, if I wasn't poor, I would. Booze makes even the most embarrassing experiences into mere fragmented memories.

Anyway, to celebrate I've decided to make this post a general rant. You know, of all the things that have been recently pissing me off, you know?

For starters, I hate potato salads. Most retarded form of salad imaginable. Who puts fucking potato in a salad? It's supposed to be cooked, and preferably mashed or baked. You don't cut it up and pour sauce on it to make a side dish. Boourns.

Secondly, I hate, HATE cats. This should already be common knowledge for most of you. They're selfish, ungodly, spoilt, snobby creatures, that spend their days sleeping and eating other animals. I don't care if yours has a fucking bell on it. Chances are it has already learnt how to hunt at night without making it ring anyway. Yes, they are cute as kittens. But I'm pretty sure Hitler made a cute baby too.

Thirdly (man, I'm on a roll!), Death Note's ending. If you actually care what happens, I won't ruin it for you. Spoiler in black, bitches.

Yeah, way to fucking die, Light. I'm sure your dad's proud of you... NO WAIT, HE'S DEAD TOO. He should have shot you while he had the chance.

Lastly, but not least, I'm so sick of chain emails that it is no longer funny. I can't even laugh at the morons sending it to me anymore. It's reached a point where it's simply stupid and I can't stand it. The love of your life won't kiss you tomorrow if you send this email on! They might punch you in the face for being a complete gimp and not realising how much potential energy you're wasting that could have gone to something better than reading a dumb email and forwarding it. Gah, grow a brain.

Happy 19th Birthday Reo! One year off 20, woo...

Aleatz Hates Nintendo's Ideals

2008-08-15T14:48:00.000+10:00

Dear Mr. Satoru Iwata,

Let me get some things straight. Firstly, my name isn't Filo. Secondly, I don't want to purchase Wii Fit or My Weight Loss Coach. I've never associated gaming consoles with losing weight, and I certainly don't want to start now. Also, the girl you used in your email is obviously not overweight. Why would she want to lose more weight? Is she an inspiring model? Does she have to meet a weight requirement to get onto a kiddy ride? Help me out here. Do you find some personal enjoyment on making money out of 'trying' to get kids fit which arguably became overweight by playing your games? It's on the same level as Mc Donald's salads. Nintendo isn't a gym. Mc Donald's isn't a health food shop. My self-esteem has been crushed because of your ad. I expect proper compensation, to be frank. I'm sure your profits from games which tell kids they're fat will be enough to cover my loss.

Yours sincerely,

Aleatz.

Aleatz Hates Windows

2008-08-13T17:19:00.000+10:00

It didn't take long after typing 'Windows sucks' into Google Images till I found something which made me laugh.

Source: http://www.crunchgear.com/wp-content/uploads/apple-vs-ms.png

Not that this is anything new though. The Mac vs PC debate has been going on since the dawn of the internet which screws them both over. Even though I don't (nor ever will, in my opinion) own a Mac computer, I have a feeling that if I did I wouldn't have to take it to a repair shop every 5 months because a virus had caused it to crash. Currently I'm typing on my laptop which has Vista as it's OS. Vista is shit. I, and everyone else who had it preinstalled onto their new computer hates it. The people who probably hate it more are those who actually bought it upfront and installed it themselves... then realised how crap it was.

I'm so over the shininess.

I find it funny how a lecturer this week told us an anecdote about how he mentioned Open Office (an open source version of Microsoft Office) and it's awesomeness to his class while the lecture was being recorded, and then got called in and told to stop doing it by a Microsoft representative since our university gets a large amount of funding from Microsoft. This time he was smart enough to turn the recording off.

This post is also why I can't post my legendary (at this rate it will never happen) Europe post since half of my photos are on my broken desktop, with the other half on a friend's computer.

I'm beginning to consider Linux...

Aleatz Hates Catching Up

2008-08-07T19:11:00.000+10:00

Well, that's odd. I come back to over 2500 hits here. Ain't that swell? (Probably a glitch) I'm sure Reo would be pleased, if she weren't too busy playing Brawl.

Internet access in Europe basically didn't occur (or didn't occur long enough) for Reo to add entries regarding the trip, so ultimately she's left it till now to do it. Problem is now she only has half the photographs of the trip (the end half), so she'll be getting back the ones of Spain and half of Rome before she makes here massive 'Aren't you all jealous of where I got to go?!' post.

The reality is that you shouldn't care whether or not Reo makes this post. Don't give her the satisfaction of rubbing this in your face. Boycott this site while you still can, because I'm sure you're all just getting dumber by the second by being here. Well? Move on!

Here's some highlights from Vatican City to tide you curious idiots over...

Gee, those Italians think of everything! A one stop store for all your Godly accessories!

Alexis thinks he's God. How cute.

You know you're surrounded by American tourists when someone inside the Pantheon says 'This must be the Colluseum!'

Prime real-estate next to the Vatican- $96 000 000. The last ten endangered ferns from South America in your garden- $150 000. Knowing that no one will be able to come into your luxuriously pretentious garden- Priceless. There's some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's God. Now available in over 120 countries worldwide.

NO POTO! The Popes are... sleeping.

'Michael Eisner: They look like ants from up here.
Bill Gates: They ARE Ants Michael! They ARE Ants!'

Aleatz Hates Packing

2008-06-28T15:53:00.000+10:00

Packing is probably the worst part of a trip. You get frightened that you'll end up leaving something important behind, and it just takes up a huge chunk of your time. Well! The plane leaves tomorrow, so soon I shall be in the sunny goodness which is Europe. In other words, I'll be seeing much more of this:

And hopefully some of this:

Source: www.mairie-brest.fr

Yes, we can all hope. Updates have been slow, and I doubt they'll be getting any faster. FEA has kept me occupied, as well as my lack of contributing with the current project on there. During the European tour I shall use my blog to post some pictures and write some 'Reo's Euro Trip' blog entries (with 'Aleatz Pointers' as a bonus). I'll try to post as often as possible, but being in Europe I'll have to make the most of my time there.

Anyway, here's something I personally felt the urge to add before I went-

Things Reo Should Pack:

Condoms
The Pill
Drugs (For a good show at the airport)
A Swag Hat
A Wallaby's Jersey
Pepper Spray
Candy Underwear
Thicker Eyeliner (so she actually looks like a cheap prostitute)

That's all folks.

Aleatz Hates Science (Not)

2008-06-14T22:50:00.000+10:00

Source: www.smbc-comics.com

You gotta love science. Right now I hate it, because I've been looking at (almost) nothing else for the last few days straight. Geology is kinda dull, but kinda not. It's really hard to explain. Some parts are amusing, others, which are usually relating to the chemical structure of rocks, aren't.

But, seriously, what's not cool about volcanoes? They explode! They melt people! Hollywood abuses their existence! Kids everywhere use them for their dumb science projects! Volcanoes are awesome. Science is full of fun stuff like that.

Hopefully these coming exams won't make me hate science. Because I find people who hate science stupid. It's a really fascinating subject, and it has so many different areas that it's hard to not find one that you like. Also, it isn't subjective (like stupid English literature). Everything is discussed, and evidence is used to determine if you're correct. Perfectly logical.

It is also more creative than people give it credit for. Often you find great scientists have to invent 'new' concepts in order to figure out how things work or in order to invent new things. But, clearly modern art is more creative... Ha. No it isn't. Painting a canvas purely black should lead to bankruptcy.

Kids, learn science. For real. It's important. Understanding how the world works is the first step away from ignorance. One day, when you know the properties of quartz, you'll look back on this blog entry and say 'Man, Aleatz was right. This really did help me in life'.

Aleatz Hates Subjectivity

2008-06-03T22:23:00.000+10:00

This week has been a fun week in relation to games. Not because I've played a diverse range of interesting video games which have made me feel like I haven't been f***ed up the arse by the Australian gaming industry because I've spend a third of my weeks wages on something which is smaller than Lance Armstrong's right testicle, but because I've been playing 'The World Ends with You' which has started off some interesting discussion with various people and to broaden my 'gaming horizons'. Snort.

The reason why I'm typing like this is because I've just watched this video here:

The World Ends with You Review from Zero Punctuation

by Yahtzee Croshaw, and it just so happens that this is the way he talks (or at least that's how I'm attempting to mimic it). This review sadden me greatly, because although I agreed with many of his valid points I still felt the game was fantastic. He seems to critise every game he reviews, even if he ends with a 'this is not so bad' conclusion. After browsing his gallery I also wonder why he touches games like this in the first place.

Then I looked at the video again and thought I wouldn't even be able to take the comical approach to genres which I didn't like, especially the First Person Shooters he seems to favour. I'd be writing 'And here's another arsehole with a gun promoting violence by shooting pixels in the shape of enemies and small children... F MINUS!' Besides, FPSs equal RPGs in the 'originality' category which Yahtzee raved on about in his review. Only those dedicated to their genre will be able to pick the small alterations to the generic which prevent lawsuits from occurring. So in the end, maybe it's all best if us bias morons all stick to our genre of choice when talking about things.

You know what I like? Puzzle games. You know, the ones not unlike Tetris where you shoot bricks/columns/gems/orbs/small animals in order to match/remove them. In the end they, much like JRPGs, are as repetitive and unoriginal as hell. However, after playing the same god damn level where you shoot round orbs over a pyramid I decided 'f*** every other gaming genre! I just want to shoot gems'.

I've played Luxor 2 and Bejeweled to a point where most normal people would then go and rob a jeweller and throw $10 000 rings at a wall. But despite the fact that they're both clones of previous games with simply nicer graphics, I'll probably continue playing them for a long time into the future. Mostly because the Australian gaming industry didn't f*** me up the arse when I downloaded them for free (legally!).

In reality, jewel-based puzzle games don't differ all that much to FPS games, except that instead of shooting coloured people you're shooting coloured balls. Wait... maybe that happens in both... Anyway, I forgot the obvious point I was trying to make. Maybe that everything is subjective and bias and that you should just deal with it? No, that's TOO obvious. I don't like subjectivity. Unless it's my own, of course.

Oh, and apparently Kris knows Yahtzee (Ben). Small world.

Aleatz Hates Fillers (#1)

2008-06-01T23:57:00.000+10:00

Yeah, no update. Boourns. Blame Reo. I know I do.

Finals are coming up, and everyone knows what that means... Reo studies about half as much as she should, and spends the other half of the time playing video games/browsing the net. Good going Reo. I hope you fail biology. It wouldn't be justice if you didn't.

Speaking of biology, why is it that about half of the practical class did a speech on marine life? Is that the only aspect of biology that's interesting? Last time I checked, starfish were as boring as hell. Yet at least 2 people did a speech on them. Wow. Amazing. They're shaped like 'stars' and cling to rocks whilst doing jack-shit. Remind me again why they're not extinct...

Yeah, there's also people building a shed at Reo's place. Fun fun. She's complaining about having to carefully place her car so they can fit their ute in. Do you want a house, Reo? Then shut the f*** up. Wait till you start paying board, THEN you'll be bitchin'. Although, you are paying for fuel and uni. You get one cupcake for that. No, wait... I forgot. You're going to Europe and dumping me in your luggage. I take back my cupcake.

Oh, and we're currently playing The World Ends With You on DS. Good game. Too many bitchy characters though. Neku and Josh both need to eat some rat poison. But Beat, Rhyme and basically all the Reapers are great. I'm tempted to write a good, long post on how much Neku and Joshua deserve to die, but that shall wait for a time when time is available. For now I shall bitch in short.

So, just a warning. Chances are fillers will be appearing regularly over the next several weeks. If Reo decides to take her laptop to Europe there'll probably be updates during that period. If not, sorry. Although you don't really need an apology. You should be thankful you won't be getting annoying emails saying 'REO HAS UPDATED HER BLOG OMG READ!!!' If you are getting said emails, and wish for them to stop, simply email Reo and bitch. She should take you off the mailing list. If not, continue to spam her inbox, since that's literally what she's doing to you.

[/filler]

Aleatz Hates Today FM

2008-05-25T12:00:00.000+10:00

This one is probably for all those Sydney-siders out there. Because today I shall be discussing Today FM and why no one should listen to it. If you're not from Sydney (or Australia) never fear! Thanks to my writings you too shall hate Today FM, even though you've never listened to it... Which is the way it should be.

Firstly, I shall point out that Today FM was perhaps the first radio station I regularly listened to. Anyone who has listened to it will know that Today FM is a commercial station which plays pop music and shitty talk-shows in between advertisements. When I say 'pop', I'm not simply limiting to the stereotypical pop genre, but basically music which is recent and the majority of people like listening to.

I'm fine with that. As a radio station you're allowed to play ads in order to make money. You're also allowed to play the music you think will get you the highest ratings and appeal to your target audience. But the things I have the biggest problem with is the talk. That's right.

I've discovered, now that I drive to work, that peak hour radio consists of less songs, more ads and mostly talking. When you look over to Triple M (which is owned by the same people who own Today FM, ironically) you see funny, down to earth comedy. I believe Triple M is aiming for a difference audience to Today FM, so that might explain why I prefer it.

While listening to Nova on a drive home a woman rang up and said how she used to listen to Triple M before her friends enlightened her as to how a majority of it wasn't live, etc. That woman is a moron. Sorry lady, but it's true. It's just like the people who started bitchin' when they discovered that some Chaser stunts were set up. You feel like calling those people up and saying 'Well DUH! Would you like a waffle with your dish of idiocy this morning?'

No one bitches about news on TV being pre-recorded. They only bitch when it's the people who take the piss out of things. Point is, you listen to this stuff to laugh and be entertained. Who cares if it's pre-recorded? If they spent more time editing it in order to make it funnier, who gives a crap? Cheers to them, I say. The point of all that was basically to say how I enjoy being entertained during the part of radio which isn't ads.

Which is why Today FM sucks. It's basically a giant ad for Ten nonstop. They also share their exclusive 'hot Hollywood gossip' if they run out of shit to advertise. Thanks. I really wanted to know about how much more of a whore Lindsay Lohan is. Not. Anyway, they talk about Big Brother constantly. I mean, if it wasn't already bad enough that the show airs on TV, they have the nerve to discuss it on peak hour radio.

What a way to corrupt a generation! It sickens me that people are more worried about the ratings on video games than this shit playing on radio. Kids watch those douches on Big Brother being dramatic and think that's normal. The people who end up on Big Brother are sad, bogan losers who's only achievement in life is their appearance on Big Brother, where they sleep with some other bogan on national television.

I'm going to save my bitching about Ten for another day... But the general idea behind Ten is that it wraps shit in metallic paper and hands it to teenagers and shallow women. Don't poison our airwaves with it, Ten. I know that radio is something you can avoid, but if you're a channel changer like me you're bound to hear it at some point. I honestly wouldn't hate Today FM if they weren't a billboard for Ten.

The other thing I do hate about them though, is their speeding up of music. The agenda behind it is still unclear to me (more time for Big Brother ads?), but it's pissing me off. Yeah, so if someone from Today FM ever reads this (which is VERY unlikely) tell all your people that some of us aren't morons, and we know you're speeding up the music you play.

Boourns Today FM. I'm going to Nova for my pop music fix!

Aleatz Hates Death Note

2008-05-19T19:58:00.000+10:00

It was one night when Reo's parents happened to be out when she put on the first episode Death Note. Little did I know that utter stupidity would ensue as she described the series to me. 'Apparently it's about some guy who finds a notebook which can kill people and he uses it against criminals', she said. We both sat down and watched the first episode; an English dub off Veoh. I honestly was only there for the club soda. 'Beau recommended this to me, because he loves it. I bet it must be good.'

Thanks Beau. Remind me to send you a 'Thank You' bomb. Do you have any idea what you've done? You've made Reo fall in love with the dumbest series, that's what you've done! I'm thanking five different gods simultaneously because I managed to snatch some club soda as compensation for watching that dribble. I was clawing at my eyes as soon as it started, and now there's two holes in my face. Ah... At least club soda heals the pain...

Things which are stupid in Death Note:

Biblical Illusions- I think this was Reo's justification for the show being good. 'OMG THERE'S BIBLICAL ILLUSIONS! SO AMAZING!' If I wanted cliched Biblical references I'd read the Bible. Nothing is clever about some guy eating an apple. And don't tell me that the apple is symbolic of sin, because I've already heard it. It is very 'well duh'. Strangely enough it's in the first chapter of the Bible, and is perhaps the most known out of all chapters. I wonder if the people making Death Note knew this before they added it...

God, it's like someone making a reference to Moby Dick by shoving a whale into it. Get original you bastards.

Inanimate Object Kills People- Seen The Ring? One Missed Call? Notice a pattern? They're Japanese horrors which involve an object murdering people in some supernatural way. What a horrible plot device. Of course Death Note ignores this and makes a notebook which kills people. Slightly lamer than a tape or a mobile phone.

Light- Hmm, sounds like another egotistical bastard with the same personality as... Sasuke? No way! Actually, yes way. Apart from having brown hair and not being a ninja, Light is basically Sasuke. Both turn insane at some point. Both have serious issues. Both pure arseholes.

Source: thinklikepj.wordpress.com

Don't worry, folks. If he doesn't kill you with his notebook, he'll probably get you with that over-sized scythe. The arsehole probably thinks no one can see it, like that stupid death god.

I also find it very hard to believe it takes someone one episode to turn insane like that. Then again, Light seemed like a bit of a fruitcake from the very second he opened his mouth. Speaking English? You're Japanese, you madman! Furthermore... 'Light'? More dumb illusions? Who names their kid 'Light'? Oh. The next thing on the list does.

Light's Mum- She's a bitch. I hate her more than Simple Plan (ok, that might be a slight exaggeration). Point is she sucks. You know she's a bitch when you see her casual reaction to her son being a smartarse. If my kid was doing that well at school I'd actually give a proper reaction, and not try to turn him into a selfish bastard by offering him anything he wants. No wonder Light turned out to be such an arse.

Stupid-Looking God of Death- When he first showed up in Light's bedroom I thought 'Great, now something is finally is gonna get rid of that jerk'. What a fool I was. The death god doesn't do anything. It's a 'spectator' or some nonsense. So, it's only there to look stupid? Someone needs to give the creator a raise before shooting them.

Source: fantasticfest.bside.com

Yeah. Up yours too, redundant God of Death.

In other news, Death Note was banned in China after kids wrote down their classmates names in a 'death note'. Happened in other countries as well, but none were as strict as China. Shame really. Yeah, Death Note sucks. Oh great, Reo heard me... Yeah, this post certainly isn't Reo's opinion. She's just itching for Mondays now that Death Note is on (even though uni-wise Mondays are shit).

Aleatz Hates Facebook

2008-05-19T18:39:00.000+10:00

I hate Facebook, yet I'm a member. The world doesn't always work the way you expect it, huh? I avoided touching MySpace for years because I thought it sounded stupid. One would ask why Facebook would be any different. I don't think it is, personally. I think both are pretty much as dumb as each other. They're both online fads which consist of pointless chatter between friends you already meet on a daily basis, and both give you millions of ways to waste time online.

Granted, being online on forums, blogs and whatnot wouldn't really be considered productive anyway. But it's not just the lack of productivity. Places like MySpace attract people and conversations which I wouldn't consider inspiring or interesting. They're full of teenagers typing with a literacy level of Dom, whilst uploading their skanky photos for all their friends (and the world) to see.

Also, why do people have so many friends in these places? I mean, look at Kevin Rudd's MySpace... DO THEY KNOW HIM PERSONALLY?! Although that's an exaggerated example, lots of people in these so called 'online communities' who have tons of friends don't actually know them as friends or think of them as friends. It's all bullshit, and people with shitloads of friends display it as some trophy for popularity. I know this, because I've seriously heard people ask 'how many friends do you have on MySpace?' as if it makes the person they're asking any less of an arse.

Figure 1: Graph regarding the relationship between the amount of friends you have on Facebook in relation to how much bullshit you're full of. Yeah, it doesn't actually make sense. Get over it.

Let us add to this the scandal regarding an application on Facebook which could record and show to your friends what website you'd viewed. Sure, most applications ask people for their permission before stuff like that, but absent-minded people like me can easily just click 'ok'. I mean, f***, I don't want anyone knowing what websites I view! Seriously, INVASION OF PRIVACY! I'm not the type of person who sings the male part of the 'Porn' song, but I still would rather people didn't see the crap I look at.

I ended up joining Facebook to see some of my friend's pictures (because clearly no one had ever told them about Photobucket), and now I use it more often than I'm proud of. Currently I'm getting emails from applications which make no sense, and friend requests from people I've never even heard of. It frustrates me. I could go in and change my email preferences but it's much easier to delete the emails.

If you haven't joined one of these places, please don't. Ignore any email I send you asking you to join. Facebook sent it, not me.

Aleatz Hates Internet Haters

2008-05-10T19:26:00.000+10:00

There's a lot of people out there willing to belittle people for overusing the internet. Maybe you have encountered some of these people before? Well, maybe there's some truth to it, but let us all deny it and do something much more fun instead.

Here's a list to go through. If a person you know happens to do/has done one of the things on this list, they have no right to open their mouth. If you feel there is something missing, please add it via comments.

Things which are less productive than using the internet:

Playing poker machines.
Watching Big Brother.
Voting for Big Brother.
Being on Big Brother.
Helping produce Big Brother.
Advertising Big Brother.
Being involved with Big Brother in any way.
Going jogging during your lunch hour.
Playing Lunar Genesis.
Starting a blog.
Updating a blog.
Making a list on a blog.
Commenting on a blog.
Watching 'wrestling'.
Working as a 'pro-wrestler'.
Running a piercing/tattoo parlour.
Watching Bargain Hunt.
Being on Bargain Hunt.
Writing a Jim Carrey movie.
Being a politician.
Starting a book club.
Reading Pride and Prejudice.
Reading manga in Borders so no one can walk through the aisles.
Watching an Ashton Kutcher movie.
Playing Sudoku.
Reading New Idea, Woman's Day, or any magazine which tries to offer you 'free' make-up with its purchase.
Composing modern 'classical' music.
Playing modern 'classical' music.
Listening to modern 'classical' music.
Changing your radio station to another which is playing Simple Plan.
Listening to Simple Plan.
Buying a Simple Plan album.
Being a member of Simple Plan.
Watching a Simple Plan music video.
Watching any music video.
Playing the theme of Fur Elise when you can't play the piano.
Writing a biography on John Howard.

Yes, add yours too. This list is far from complete.

Aleatz Hates Math

2008-05-10T18:11:00.000+10:00

Boourns. Even though school is gone math still seems to follow. And in university, math is expected in courses which aren't math (like geology... which is supposed supposed to be about rocks, but somehow they manage to get you to count stuff). I don't blame people dropping math once they hit the final years of high school. Math sucks.

I remember a computer game from my youth where you had to beat monsters and solve math problems to win. Ah, that was a good game. I miss it so. Hard to believe there was subliminal MATH messages in it. Clearly my parents were brainwashing me.

I also hate people who claim they like math. How can anyone like it?! I remember I used to like it, back when it consisted of multiplication, multiple choice questions and in a video game which was relevant to me. Now it's like this:

Full view: http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h283/Aleatz/08%20Projects/Aleatz-Hates-Maths.jpg

As you can see both answers were correct, only the computer didn't recognise them because the BRACKETS WERE IN THE WRONG SPOTS. So even if you get it right, you're wrong? Is no one safe from the ludicrousy which is math? The correct answer is no.

Kids... teachers will try to convince you that math is important in the world today, but this is all lies. What do you truly need to live? Food and (for purposes of procreation) sex. Don't be fooled into thinking that math affects either of those. They might claim agribusiness and all that use math to distribute food and economics has some part to play with it, but what do they know? I bet all the food companies are just playing massive food fights in their offices. Yes, that makes sense. Math doesn't.

Boycott it while you still can. Don't grow up believing that learning how to draw a parabola will get you a good job.

Aleatz Hates Eliwood

2008-05-03T22:44:00.000+10:00

(This animation seems vaguely familiar, now that I've made it... Hmm, maybe I subliminally copied it off someone, or maybe I just have this playing over and over in my head because I hate Eliwood so much. Who's to tell? If you do happen to recognise it, drop me a line.)

To start things off I'll tell you that Fire Emblem happens to be my favourite video game of all time. For those of you who aren't big on video games and perhaps have not heard me go on about Fire Emblem I'll give a quick summary so you don't feel left out in this post. Fire Emblem is a turn-based, anime/medieval-styled RPG strategy game. In simple terms it just means it's the video game equivalent of chess, drawn by Japanese people.

In Fire Emblem you are given a handful of characters, each with their own background and combat traits, and have to go through maps destroying other pixelated units. It is ever so much fun! However, if one of your characters dies then they remain dead for the rest of the game. Oh no! The only way to get that unit back is to restart the game and the chapter, and if the chapter is particularly hard then the player is likely to get very pissed. So here is where this post is going...

For the long time I've owned Fire Emblem 7 I have hated Marcus. This hatred blossomed after my first play through, where I came into the last chapter only to have Marcus (a unit which I had wasted a lot of experience points on, this being my first play though and all) die about midway through the chapter. Although I found this utterly annoying, I decided to keep playing and not restart to save him. Marcus has been the one and only FE character I have ever 'let die'.

So now I hate Marcus and I rarely use him (except in Hector Hard Mode where I don't really have a choice) so I have to turn all my turn-based anger onto another character. That character is Eliwood. It is a hard toss-up to say which character I hate more. Eliwood or Marcus. But recently I discovered that despite all Marcus' flaws I hate Eliwood more. Why? There is only one simple reason. He's a lord.

What's the special thing about him being a lord? It means (for all the non-FE players) that you have to take him into every chapter and if he dies the game is over. With Marcus you can simply decide not to take him into any chapters when you don't feel like it. Not the same for Eliwood. He has to go into every battle when he's in your party, despite the difficulty of the chapter or anything else.

Now that I've discussed my 'revelation' I shall go onto the fine points of this hatred.

Reasons Why Eliwood Sucks Major Arse:

1. He has red hair: His hair is so red it'd make Dom cringe. Enough said.

2. He's Prince Charming, Disney Style: He has the personality of a muppet. It seems as if Intelligent Systems hired Disney to create him just so he'd piss off whoever played this game. God damn his stupid charm and crappy, cliched personality.

3. He sucks as a unit: Congratulations Eliwood. You managed to hit that mercenary at a 100% hit rate! Knocking off that 6 points of health sure did help your party! Twerp.

4. He's Roy's father: I haven't played much of FE6, but I'm told Roy is the worst lord ever to plague the series. I could believe it. After all, he's Eliwood's son, and thus inherits his shitty red hair, shitty stats, shitty personality and shitty Marcus.

5. People keeps saying he's the best lord in the game: I won't lie, I don't get this. I mean, HOW IS ELIWOOD BETTER THAN BOTH THE LORDS?! I don't know where these people get this from... Maybe Eliwood's stats are better than Lyn's and/or Hector's, but the unpleasant combination of everything makes him suck. AND at least the other lords HAVE a good personality. What does Eliwood have? A dead father, Marcus, a shitty horse which is only available close to the end of the game, and a sword which has the same effect as the swords the other two lords have.

Lyn can dodge stuff. Hector can block stuff. Eliwood gets hit with a lance and he's dead. And then you have to restart your game BECAUSEELIWOOD'SAF***INGLORDANDIHATEHIMSOMUCHGAH!

6. He gets a f***ing horse for a promotion present: Yeah, where the f*** did the horse come from? I don't know. You don't know. Hector and Lyn don't know. I doubt even the developers know. Point is, he sucks as an unpromoted unit, and he sucks just as much as a promoted one. Although now his animation looks even dumber. Seriously, look at the frames! That horse thinks it's a donkey!

Oh, and he gets lances too. Now if Eliwood aims for the heart and his retarded horse jumps more than a foot he'll be able to actually damage something.

7. He's a wuss: Your father's dead. Shit happens. Get over it. We don't need a pretty CG showing everyone what a pansy you are.

8. He's friends with Marcus: If all the above points weren't enough, then just look at his company (and I don't mean Hector. Don't you dare taint Hector!). Marcus serves him, and his stupid son, simply because he's a stupid lord... Gee, Marcus' job must suck... I'd actually feel sorry for the guy if I didn't hate him so much.

This just in from Wikipedia as a description of Marcus- 'He is a mentor and father figure to Eliwood (who used to follow him around as a little boy) and his assistants.' This would explain a lot. Both of them are major suckage.

9. Did I mention that Hector's better?: Check out Hector in my animation. Surely this is proof enough that he's better than Eliwood. If not, look at me counter Eliwood's bad points with Hector's good ones. To start of, Hector's hair is blue, the complete opposite to red. He's reckless and has no stick up his arse. He doesn't suck as a unit, in fact, he's very good. He's not Roy's father. People often claim he's the best lord in the game, but many people say he's the worst. He owns an axe which can cut through horses. He's not a wuss. He doesn't even support with Marcus.

The only thing riding against Hector (which everyone whom argues that Hector sucks feels the urge to mention) is his promotion time (which just happens to be... Oh my! Close to Eliwood's!). Except for that, Hector is pure awesomeness. And hey, at least you don't have to force yourself to train him (like I have to do with Eliwood).

Source: http://www.feplanet.net/index.php?fep=sprites/archive/cg&id=7

Eliwood: Father... Father!
Elbert: ...I hope to... God, that... my
grandson... isn't as pathetic as this...

It brings me much satisfaction to know that Eliwood dies in Fire Emblem 6. Because if he didn't, I'd fly to Japan and force IS to make a game where he did die, preferably to the hands of me. Yay for Wikipedia saying 'At the start of the game [FE6], he is beset by illness, so he decides to stay at Castle Pherae to not be a burden on Roy.'

Yeah, curses suck, don't they Eliwood? Too bad you suck more. Boourns.

Aleatz Hates Australia('s Location)

2008-05-03T14:41:00.001+10:00

Just so I don't get torn apart by fellow Aussies I've decided to add that last part. And that's what I'll be focusing on anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter. Since Plague and I had a discussion on how 'Europeans are lucky' after hearing Puff (Virex) talk about his travels, I decided to post this. Ironically, a week after ANZAC Day.

A random teacher once said 'Why should I be patriotic? Did I choose to be born in this country?' Fine point there, sir. You didn't choose to be born in this country. But then again, I don't see you packing your bags for Russia once you hit eighteen either. Australia is the bees knees. It has a lot going for it. It has all the peaceful traits of New Zealand smashed with the excitement of America (yeah, um, *cough*). However, there's plenty of boourns to be discussed. Let us begin!

1) Big Island: Get this... Australia's an island. No really, I'm not making this shit up. It also happens to be the largest in the world. So not only is Australia an island, it's a bloody big island. There are a few positives about that. One would be the fact that if another country wants to fight us they have to swim a fair way to do it. Second one would be us having all this land to ourselves, the amazingly large 20 million population (might be a bit larger than that now) which we are.

Point is that it sucks being on a big-arse island. If you want to go to another country (like Tasmania) you have to FLY there, and that costs MONEY. Some people (like me) don't have money (but usually I just steal from Reo, so it all evens out). Being big also sucks, because if you want to go anywhere on this big island it takes a long time (and a lot of fuel) to do it. Everything is spread out stupidly. Just look at Perth.

2) Wholesale Screwage: We pay too much for crap. This is true. Video games are the worst offender, but there's plenty of other things that cost money which people don't have. The reason we get screwed into buying things which are more expensive than they should be, is because, again, we're a big f***ing island. Importing stuff costs more money (for shipping) and causes more hassle, so people don't do it unless it's something which they can't buy here.

Those lame people who flog stuff here know this, so they make us pay more than the rest of the world. It's supply and demand and they can rip us off because there's no one else to buy it from, because no one in Australia makes anything anymore. As sad as this is... Eh, that appears to be all I've got.

3) Global Fame: Want fame? Don't look for it in Australia. You won't be globally famous, even if you hit 'Delta' status (that's right. No one anywhere else but here gives a f*** about Delta Goodrem. Shocked much?). You could shoot someone famous here (like Chas from the Chasers, whom no one would want to shoot, but he's a fine example) and no one anywhere else in the world would notice or give a rat's arse. But if we're talking about Angelina Jolie's new face cream, WELL, it'll be in New Idea and all the housewives will know exactly how it stops them from looking ugly.

Steve Irwin proved that the only way of becoming truly famous (globally) in Australia is to 'act Australian'. That and play with dangerous animals for no real reason. Hmm, looks like we're all screwed then. Especially since we're all trying to act American for some reason.

4) Dumb Stereotypes: Upon mentioning this 'Aus Sucks' post to an American buddy (Sui), I received this response: 'But you have kangaroos. This is relevant.' Yes, well, we rarely ever see the bastards (unless we're driving to Canberra and we're greeting them with our cars). And apart from being comical (and a tourist attraction) kangaroos don't do all that much, except make Australia look dumb. Because people get the impression that we ride kangaroos or some nonsense... No joke, some people think this.

However, I used them as an example of good farming practises in one of my assessments, so I guess they're not all bad. Plus they're tasty.

5) Not Altering Future?!: We're in the future, Australia. As in, our clocks are set differently to others over the world. We're basically only behind New Zealand, which is no loss to anyone. But even though we're in the almighty future, we have no chance of altering it. Why? Because no one cares about Australia.

Actually, don't you have to go into the past to alter things? Gah, I give up. I think I've made whatever point I was trying to make anyway...

EDIT: Upon further investigation I've found that Tasmania is actually a part of Australia. Hmm, looks like you learn something new everyday!

Aleatz Hates Motivation (#1)

2008-05-02T13:26:00.000+10:00

Reo has been sick (with both disease and assignments) so I decided to post a 'filler' up for her. If you haven't been to her Facebook page then you probably haven't seen Motivation. So here it is in all its glory. She'll probably come up with a second one soon, if she has enough stupid photos of herself and her stupid friends to do it.

Dammit... I hate fillers...

Aleatz Hates Uni

2008-04-24T17:05:00.000+10:00

Now that Reo's finished high school and started uni, a lot of people ask her “how's uni?” as a casual question. Reo often answers with “alright” or “not bad”. She's lying.

University sucks more than Godfreys vacuum cleaners. It's not the workload that sucks, nor the freedom (which doesn't suck at all). It's all the small inconvenient things that come with it.

University Suckage List

1) Distance: The university Reo happens to go to is 40 minutes away from her house. Fair enough. Not everyone lives this far away from their university. Dom actually lives on campus (I shudder at the thought). But overall there's less universities than schools, and the odds are you're further away from your university than your old school. So then, clearly you're going to be pissed when you start uni and find you have to travel for 40 (or 70, if in peak hour) minutes to get to uni rather than your usual 10.

2) Commuting: Distance wouldn't suck so much, if it weren't for peak hour traffic. Peak hour traffic is God's way of punishing people who drive cars. If you happen to be like Reo, and live 8 minutes away from a bus stop and 30 from a train station, you'd probably agree that peak hour sucks. The city of Sydney was built in such a stupid way that everything is spread out yet the roads are all narrow as hell.

3) Timetable: Anyone want to know Reo's timetable for a Monday? It's 10am till 6pm. NO BREAK. I do not even lie. On the top of Reo's timetable next to 'Monday' I have written 'Good luck eating!'. In response she has written sarcastically 'Ha, ha, HA! FUNNY!'. Since I did, in fact think that it was funny, I replied with 'Isn't it? I call it “Reo No Eat Doom Day!”'. At this point she told me to 'f*** off'.

4) Expenses: Even after you've paid to be in the university, there are still more costs being sent to you. Text books, parking permits, course notes, practical equipment, food... You name it, the university is likely to charge you for it. And don't live with the assumption that you can get away with not paying... no, no... You'll have to buy everything. You might have to improvise and buy your textbooks used from some Asian guy who described it as '99% NEW!' (How can something be 99% new?) on his poster, but in the end you'll still have to buy it.

5) Lack of everything: Even though you've taken out 5 loans to cover your expenses that still doesn't stop the university from finding some other reason to suck. Despite now owning your money, the universities will have done nothing useful with it. There'll be a lack of parking spaces, lack of computers in the library, lack of chairs in the food court... They really are not thinking ahead, are they?

Nothing is more fun than getting a uni assignment and being told you can only have 25% internet resources and a minimum of 4 resources. Do you know why this is? That means you'll have to find at least 3 books for every website you use in order to fulfill the bastard universities requirements for your stupid assignment. 'That's not bad' you say? Try doing an assignment on 'Boundary Layers' and find out that there's only 3 books in the library with anything on it... And they're all out on load. Now... How on earth is someone supposed to do their assignment? You can't use the internet... You can't find any books... What the f*** do these people expect from you?

Nothing is more boourns than university. Don't be fooled... Just because you don't have to wear a uniform anymore doesn't mean it's good!

Aleatz Hates Dom's Vocab

2008-04-24T01:16:00.000+10:00

People on the internet have become lazy. On IM services they'll use various shortcuts in order to make typing easier and to sound dumber. Dom is the perfect example. I hate Dom's vocabulary. Especially online. It's hard to tell if she's just lazy, or can't spell. I've decided to create a list of the common characteristics found in Dom's writing on msn, and post it to warn you all not to type like a retard.

Dom's Word/Phrase List

1) 'shut up'

Translates to: Keep talking, but Dom's pissed. She expects you to be quiet, but I'm sure you'll keep talking. Therefore, don't expect her to stop either.

2) 'u'

Translates to: Person Dom's talking to. Can also be found in between other letters of words used by Dom and normal people. If she uses this in a conversation that means you're not Dom and you should celebrate.

3) 'ppl'

Translates to: 'People'. Also known as 'everyone else but Dom'. Be glad that 'u' fall into this category.

4) 'screw u'

Translates to: Dom's quite pissed now, but keep on talking. Note the use of 'u' in this phrase... Clearly 'u' cannot represent Dom as it's impossible to 'screw one's self'. Unless you're a guy and you have a long one.

5) 'u wanna'

Translates to: 'You want to'. In Dom's opinion the person she's talking to wants to do something, but often that's false. The only thing a person talking to Dom would want to do at this point in the conversation is smack Dom silly. Again, notice the singular use of 'u'.

Dom-like Tendencies:

1) Uses no apostrophes.

2) Uses no periods.

3) Uses no capitalisation.

4) Uses ridiculous abbreviations of words.

5) Constant use of poor grammar (eg. 'im shut up now').

6) Often uses weird phrases which make you question what word she is actually using (eg. 'thats grouse')

7) Will misspell words often, and sometimes stick to the misspelling because of convenience (i.e. 'repo' which is supposed to say 'Reo')

There you have it. A short guide to Dom's vocabulary! Avoid doing these things at all costs! Otherwise, boourns to you.

Aleatz Hates Fussy Eaters

2008-04-23T23:12:00.001+10:00

I should definitely post after work from now on, because that's when I'm the most frustrated. No point me posting before and then coming home with the urge to post, is there?

Boourns on fussy eaters. I hate them. I've hated them for a while now, ever since I realised that I'll eat anything, and I guess as a form of prejudice I just hate people who don't. But it's not just prejudice... Fussy eaters are stupid.

You eat food. That's it. You don't need to be pedantic about it, because food is edible no matter what type it is. I can be soft... You know, if you're pregnant and you can't eat seafood because of mercury, fine. If you've had an operation and can't digest lead, fine. But there's some people out there who always complain about food or pick at it because they get away with it. I've classed fussy eaters into 3 main groups:

1) Selective Eaters

The Selective Eater, or as I like to call the 'snobs' of fussy eaters, always order meals a certain way just to piss people off. They're the ones who order steak 'very rare', because they know deep down in their dark, evil souls (which they use to summon Satan) that if the chef screws that one up they'll have to start again with a new steak. Why such people can't accept that their meal is still made of cow is beyond me...

And it goes further than rare steaks. Sometimes they feel the need to order a distinct type of vegetable with their roast, because they're the only ones who think potato is poisonous. 'Can I have roast yam instead of the vegetable medley?' When these people are told no by the people serving them they get all upset and say 'But, it won't cost you any extra! Why can't you do it?' Because, stupid person, the menu says 'vegetable medley'. How do you even know the restaurant even has any yam? You're just presuming it does because at the last five restaurants you 'ate' at you got baked yam.

Solution: These people need to be put to work in a restaurant kitchen, because then they'd understand that there is effort involved in making a distinct meal. If they actually made their own meals they'd probably understand this, but right now they can get away with it (because they pay others to make their own meals from the money they made screwing people over in the office).

2) Picky Eaters

Picky Eaters are the most common form of fussy. There's a bit of them in all of us. They're the ones who pick the pickle off their Big Mac, pull the tomato off their bruschetta or take the olives out of the Greek salad. Usually that's about as far as most of us go, olives, tomatoes and pickles... But the real Picky Eaters tend to pick food out of almost every meal they receive, and it gets to the point where it's just rude and ridiculous.

You don't get a meal given to you and pick at it or complain. You eat it. There's a reason why they put olives in Greek salad, because it's a f***ing Greek salad. There's other forms of salad which aren't Greek, you know? Eat those, and don't order/buy a Greek salad. And if someone gives you a salad at a dinner party just eat it all. I mean, we're only talking about the smallest foods ever, just because they taste strong doesn't mean you have to whine about it. And you know, I bet those kids in Kenya would love a piece of tomato.

Solution: Send them all to Kenya. They won't pull olives out of their nonexistent salad anymore!

3) Set Eaters

The Set Eater is the type of fussy I hate the most. Set Eaters eat the same meal all the time, an it's usually something rather bland and boring. You've probably seen them. They're the people who go into a restaurant and order a bowl of wedges every time, or order a steak at seafood restaurant. Such people obviously never got told as a kid to just eat their food, and probably had their parents making them a bland but tasty, separate meal because they 'don't like broccoli'.

Solution: It's best to get Set Eaters when they're early. Make your kid eat their meal, and if they don't eat it, don't let them eat anything else. People need to learn that food has evolved over time and gone through history and globalisation to reach their mouths. So yeah, no more wedges for you.

Yes. Boourns fussies. Booooooooourns.

Aleatz Hates Sasuke

2008-04-23T17:17:00.001+10:00

Anyone who knows what anime is probably knows the show Naruto. It's a show aimed at young teenagers and consists of many plot holes, one of which involves ninjas with TVs wearing orange jumpsuits. Despite this I find the show entertaining, save certain episodes which have the characters narrating the scene which happened seconds before... again.

In my first post I mentioned I hated redundant characters. I also hate characters which suck. Sasuke Uchiha is one of those characters. By merely typing in Google I was able to find a image which represents Sasuke for all those who have never heard of him.

Source: http://www.danseibi.net/narutoquiz/sasuke.gif

Simply put this is the attitude through out the whole anime/manga. "You're great. People love you. You don't give a f***." I don't know about anyone else, but I hate Sasuke. I think he's the worst character in the whole show, and could easily be a good candidate for 'Worst Character from Anything". It doesn't take long for people to realise that Naruto will be the better fighter, because hell, this is an anime, and the title is Naruto. So there goes "You're great".

Next is "People love you". This couldn't be more right. For some reason when I type 'Sasuke Fansite' into Google, I get links! What is wrong with people? Why is Sasuke so great? He's got the personality of emo slug who's about to get covered in sodium chloride. I seriously believe people hate Naruto because Sasuke is in it. The "You don't give a f***" attitude is basically why he sucks so bad. If he actually cared about things other than revenge against his brother (whom I also hate because he didn't kill Sasuke when he had the chance and now he's infecting Naruto with more whiny, emo nonsense) and Naruto (why the f*** does Sasuke wanna protect Naruto? And don't give me an answer relating to them hooking up, because that's bullshit) he might not be so lame.

But he is. And anyone who watches Naruto has to watch Captain Emo Slug stand around not caring about shit. God, I hate Sasuke.

Aleatz Hates Reo, Because Reo Loves You

2008-04-23T17:00:00.001+10:00

Blogs are stupid things. Can't believe I convinced myself to get one. But it'll be good to pull out any rage I attempt to store in the future, as I don't want to flame people on forums... And I certainly don't want to lose my job.

I never realised I hated so many things until I became an adult. I love a lot of things too. I love anime, for one. Video games also (another time waster) along with music in all its glory. I enjoy writing, even though I'm bad (which is a bit of a trend), and I also like anything chocolate. My latest main character for a story has a fascination with licorice, something which I find humourous, SO I WROTE ABOUT IT!

Now that's enough loving for hippy festival. On to the hating! Main things I hate include stupid music, spicy food, redundant characters in anime and TV/film, and a multitude of social traits which turn people into dimwits.

The Simpsons came up with the perfect word to describe people whom suck. "Boourns". It doesn't seem all too magical, but it has a nice ring to it and it isn't offensive (in an obvious way). Ever since people at my old school started using the term, I did too, and it has now stuck with me. Just thought I should point it out, since in the future I'll be saying that word constantly.

Boourns to you for reading this blog. You're wasting valuable minutes.